I'm ready for the pageant

Today I feel like:

Mary Johanson (Character) from Drop Dead Gorgeous (1999)

“With one week to go before the pageant, I was finishing my costume, practicing my talent, brushing up on current events, and running 18 miles a day on about 400 calories.  I… was… ready!”

I love the character of Mary from Drop Dead Gorgeous.  Anyone who knows me well, know that I enjoy any movie about drag or pageants and of course, drag pageants. Drop Dead Gorgeous was a gem of comedy that still makes me laugh. It is a mock-u-mentry about a small town pageant.  In fact it is not uncommon for me to recite the lines while watching the movie. I’m a dork like that. I enjoy a good laugh, even if I’ve seen it a few dozens times.

I love this movie: This movie is an outrageous, deliciously bad-taste classic. A small town beauty pageant turns deadly as it becomes clear that someone will go to any lengths to win.

The beginning:  In the small Midwest community of Mount Rose, Minnesota, the Sarah Rose American Miss Teen Princess Pageant is in full swing. The annual beauty pageant is being covered by a TV crew. The Crew interviews contestants and town folk about the pageant. They discover that former winner, Gladys Leeman, wants to make sure her daughter follows in her footsteps. It would seem that Gladys is behind the explosions, falling lights, and trailer fires that soon occur. The Leemans are the richest family in town and the police are pretty relaxed about it all. From the moment front-runner Tammy Curry is blown to pieces on her sabotaged tractor, it's clear this beauty pageant will be fought tooth and nail. And it ain't gonna be pretty.
Despite everything, Amber Atkins won't be stopped. Amber is the nice girl in the movie. She has big dreams and wants to win so that she can some day leave this small town and venture off to a better life. Amber has to watch her step; it seems some one is out to get her. There could well be more death and disappointment to come if she is not careful.

The pageant comes down to two main contestants.  Amber Atkins and Becky Leeman:

In the Blue corner is Becky Leeman. Becky is the rich kid daughter of former winner and rabidly proud officiating beauty pageant President, Gladys Leeman. I loved Becky's hilarious (not to mention blasphemous) love song for Jesus talent. 

And in the Red corner is Amber Atkins. She lives in a trailer park.  She is the home town girl who works at the morgue. She practices her make-up artist skills on the deceased. Amber Atkins is championed by her boozy mother, Annette and her mother's morally suspect best friend Loretta. Amber tap dances her way in to the hearts of the local town folk.

Something funny About Mary:  The movie covers the back story of the contestants. It also introduces us to Mary Johanson. Mary is the anorexic winner of last year's contest. Mary is portrayed as seriously unwell due to her illness; Mary is staying in the 'Anorexia/Bulimia Wing' of the local hospital. She's visited by Amber once a week, who brushes her hair, which has started to fall out. “shh don’t tell her”  Mary also receives an inappropriate box of chocolates from Becky when the cameras are there. Mary questions who Becky is, which results in Becky pretending that this is a game they always play. During an interview, she reveals that two weeks before the pageant saw her “practicing her talent, finishing her costume, brushing up on current events, and running 18 miles a day on about 400 calories''. That scene is so funny.Mary also repeats her old winning talent performance of lip-synching to 'Don't Cry Out Loud' by Melissa Manchester.  That is a great song.  She performs in her wheelchair, pushed by a nurse, at this year's competition night to entertain the audience before the show.  Her hair has gone from blonde to curly black (a wig), but is back to blonde when she's on stage as the results are announced. After the contest is over, we see her in an ambulance with an oxygen mask on. She smiles, and waves to the camera.

The End: Both Amber and Becky compete to see who will be Miss Mount Rose.  The pageant finale is suspect, when the winner, Becky Leeman is announced. Everyone seems disappointed when Amber is runner up. She danced her ass off and does not win. What a bummer! Then she replaces Becky when the parade float Becky is riding on explodes. It is now up to Amber to follow her dreams to the State and National Teen Princess Pageant. Each one is plagued with problems of their own. In the end tragedy does not stop Amber.  She over comes adversity and lands the job of her dreams…She becomes a news anchor woman, like her idol, Diane Sawyer.  See dreams do come true! Even if they dont happen the way you think they should.

*Drop Dead Gorgeous (1999) stars Kirsten Dunst, Denise Richards, Ellen
Barkin, Allison Janney and Kirstie Alley.