hosptials

My parents are both passed away for several years.  My mom’s declining health was partly because of her lack of access to health care.  She had diabetes and high blood pressure that for many years went untreated.  Often times, she refused to “take care” of herself  or watch what she ate.  I do not blame her, but it does seem a shame that she was only 52 when she died.  My dad on the other hand was defiant and accepted his own bad health choices.  He joked that he would live to be 100.  He lived a long life. He was 75 when he died.  He smoked a pack a day since and early age and was not worried about the long term effects. He hardly ever went to the doctor; accept when he suffered a back injury many years before he died.  My dad was not fond of modern medicine. 

Hospitals are a place I know all too well.  I was a sick baby and my mother took me to the doctor often, before they realized that my infant system could not handle the formula.  I was sadly suffering from malnourishment.  It was my mother fear that I might not live.  The doctor changed my formula to natural goat milk and my mom saw an improvement.  I began to thrive again.  When I was 13 I was diagnosed with a heart condition.  People with Wolff-Parkinson-White syndrome are born with an extra connection in the heart which can disrupt the coordinated movement of electrical signals through the heart, leading to an abnormally fast heartbeat (tachycardia) and other arrhythmias. Resulting symptoms include dizziness, a sensation of fluttering or pounding in the chest (palpitations), shortness of breath, and fainting. In rare cases, arrhythmias associated with Wolff-Parkinson-White syndrome can lead to cardiac arrest and sudden death. I hope it never does. But it is possible I guess.   I was diagnosed with WPW after I had fainted at home and was taken by ambulance to the local hospital. Imagine how scary that was to wakeup on the floor and have EMT’s hovering over you.  I was so dizzy and feeling like I was going to pass out again.  I under went test and stayed 3 days in the hospital. The “attack” wiped me out physically.  I went to a heart specialist who referred to another cardiologist at Parkland in Dallas, two hours from our town. Since then, I have not had any problems. I was released this year by the heart doctor. I don't need to go back unless I start having trouble again. I was 13 when they found it. I could never play sports in school because I felt like I couldn't breathe right and it made me extremely tired. Now I know what it was.  I would be in the ER again just a few years later, but this time with a broken arm.  It was simple fracture of the left ulna.  It was painful and I had to wear a cast for six weeks.  I remember it itches and after six weeks, it reeked of sweat.  I come off and my skin was white underneath from not being exposed to the sun.  It looked like a reverse farmer tan.  I was a brown kid with one white arm. It only took a few weeks before my color returned naturally.   

I also ened up in the ER after getting ina physical fight with a guy who I was living with.  He was very controlling and abusive.  It is some thing I recently told to my current boyfriend.  Abuse is always hard for me to talk about.  I still carry the emotional scars as well as the physical ones.  The scar on my arm is about 8 inches.  The scars have faded to a pink color but I still put makeup to cover it when I wear a sleeveless costume.   It took many years to move from victim to survivor.  I vowed to never let myself be harmed like that again.  This injury required a hospital stay and surgery.  Hospitals are never a good place to be.