I am going to tell you story about some one I never met. He was someone’s partner, some one’s son and some ones brother and Some one’s friend. He cam e int
o my life in a unique way. And I still hold his memory. You may ask, how I could have memories of someone I have never met. How could this person life become part of mine? For the last 13 years I have been holding a piece of this person and held on to him so he would not be forgotten. I hope that now you, my reader will know some thing about him now too and he won’t be forgotten.
Doug Philpot was a young man who died in 1994. He was only 28 years old. He grew up in southern Oklahoma in a small town of Marlow. He lived there with his parents and siblings and had family nearby including his grand parents. Marlow is located east of Lawton Oklahoma. He also had family in Wichita Falls. Doug was involved in theatre and even starred in local theatre productions while in high school. In 1983 he graduated and join the US navy. I have Doug’s class ring in my jewelry box at home. He would be stationed in San Diego CA for a few years. He made friends easily and loved seeing the world. While in the navy he met other gay men who became life long friends. He had a best friend named Stewart. California was a place where young men could enjoy being gay and times in the early eighties were exciting. He enjoyed meeting other gay men, partying into the night and occasionally used drugs. It was not uncommon for small town boys to venture to big cities and quickly become consumed by the freedom. After his years n the Navy Doug, lived with friends. He managed to buy some antiques and furniture for his apartment. He also loved mirrors and started a crystal collection. But eventually the fun wore off and real life set in. He would soon decided to move back to home. So he packed up his things and moved back to Oklahoma. He was 22. He attended a local beauty college and began working as stylist. He quickly found the small town of Marlow constricting. He ventured to the night life Wichita Falls. He enjoyed going out the only gay bar in town and meeting other men like himself. He had even tried dressing in drag for the first time. He also met a man, who would become his lover. I don’t know too many details about how they met. That part of the story is lost by the two men who lived it. It was 1987 and the gay community was devastated by the new AIDS epidemic. Today people live for years while undergoing anti-vial treatments. But in the late 80’s your long term options were not good. Doug and GW would move in together in 1988.
Yes, his past was coming back to haunt him. GW was also tested, but he was negative. For those who already know my life story you might have already guessed, “GW” was my late partner, GW Wood. Not many people know that Doug was GW’s first love. When I first met GW he lived alone and had been single for many years. He lived in a house in Wichita Falls by himself and did not go out much. During his single years he put himself back in college and earned a bachelor in Social work. He and I did not meet until 2000. But back in 1988, his was new lover was Doug Philpot. And for the most part, they were a good couple. They worked hard and shared a life together. GW shared all these things with me so that I might be able to understand who he was and what he had lived through. As a couple GW and Doug struggled financially but had seemed happy although they moved often. GW and Doug even had a civil union ceremony at the local MCC church in 1992. I have it on video at home. I have watched once with an odd fascination about some one I had never met. It was also odd to know so many of the friends I knew from back home, knew Doug Philpot years before I came out. During the last few years of his life, Doug had become an advocate for HIV/Aids services and even volunteered at the local out reach center in Wichita Falls. He also had been interviewed on a local television station about health services and testing. He himself was battling the disease. And he looked sick. I have seen that interview too. GW was very honest with me about who Doug. I sometimes felt like a replacement for the lover GW had lost. He reassured me that Doug and I were very different people. He felt lucky to find love again. ( I can relate to that now) Doug died in 1994 from the illness that he was trying hard to raise awareness. I have seen pictures of him during his late stages. They were very sad and almost scary. I respected GW for sharing his life with Doug. GW was his lover, caregiver and friend until the end. I found comfort in this when it came time for me to care for GW before his death. Yes, I was his lover, caregiver and friend until the end. Most recently I have been trying to figure out what to do with some of Doug’s personal belonging. YES, I still have them. I kept them even after GW died over six years ago. They became part of me. How could I discard them, as if Doug’s life didn’t matter? I have a steamer trunk full of his memories. I could not simply trash them. That seems like such a horrible thing to do. Each life is important even if it’s over. I never met Gerald “Douglas” Philpot, but his life touched mine. He affected me in an indirect way. I have tried to contact some one in his family. But keep running into dead ends. His mother died in 2006 and his father in 2012. They done even know that these objects even exist. They were so ashamed that their son was gay, the cut him out of their life just before his death in 1994. GW had no support and took care of him by himself and laid him to rest because he loved him. I know now exactly what that feels like. I will continue my search for Doug’s family and hope some one will take and cherish these things that were once his.
Doug Philpot was a young man who died in 1994. He was only 28 years old. He grew up in southern Oklahoma in a small town of Marlow. He lived there with his parents and siblings and had family nearby including his grand parents. Marlow is located east of Lawton Oklahoma. He also had family in Wichita Falls. Doug was involved in theatre and even starred in local theatre productions while in high school. In 1983 he graduated and join the US navy. I have Doug’s class ring in my jewelry box at home. He would be stationed in San Diego CA for a few years. He made friends easily and loved seeing the world. While in the navy he met other gay men who became life long friends. He had a best friend named Stewart. California was a place where young men could enjoy being gay and times in the early eighties were exciting. He enjoyed meeting other gay men, partying into the night and occasionally used drugs. It was not uncommon for small town boys to venture to big cities and quickly become consumed by the freedom. After his years n the Navy Doug, lived with friends. He managed to buy some antiques and furniture for his apartment. He also loved mirrors and started a crystal collection. But eventually the fun wore off and real life set in. He would soon decided to move back to home. So he packed up his things and moved back to Oklahoma. He was 22. He attended a local beauty college and began working as stylist. He quickly found the small town of Marlow constricting. He ventured to the night life Wichita Falls. He enjoyed going out the only gay bar in town and meeting other men like himself. He had even tried dressing in drag for the first time. He also met a man, who would become his lover. I don’t know too many details about how they met. That part of the story is lost by the two men who lived it. It was 1987 and the gay community was devastated by the new AIDS epidemic. Today people live for years while undergoing anti-vial treatments. But in the late 80’s your long term options were not good. Doug and GW would move in together in 1988. Soon after, Doug was diagnosed with HIV. He had found a partner, moved past all the immature and reckless behavior only to find out that he now faced a terminal illness.
MY QUEST CONTINUES........
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