A lost post, is now posted

I started this post in February but only recently posted it.  

Feb 2015:

We got a new dog recently.  Scott and I already had four between us.  But when we got our new house, I felt like I wanted a new puppy to love.  Scott was against the idea.  I knew he would be, after all two miniature Schnauzers and my Chihuahua and Jack Russell mix was already a hand full.   They are all good kids.  I think Scott was against a puppy, because they need attention and training.  All of our other dogs are mature dogs.   Even our youngest schnauzer was almost 3 years old.  She thinks she is still a puppy.  And indeed Scott picks her up and cuddles her like a baby.  When Scott asked what I wanted for Christmas, I jokingly put a puppy on the list.  I knew Scott would laugh and it would not happen.  Two weeks before Christmas I had friend at

the Irving Animal Shelter on Face book.  They would post pictures of pets that were available for adoption and also upcoming adoption events.  They would also post pictures of animals where had been in the shelter for an extended time and needed to find a new home as soon as possible.  They called these Code Red pets.  One afternoon I saw the picture of a red Chihuahua named Roscoe.  He had been in the shelter for almost two months.  It broke my heart.  He was eight years old and apparently been overlooked because of his age.  He was so cute. I told Scott about him.  I serious I was about Roscoe.  The next morning, I contacted a friend named Michael, who worked in the same building as the Irving Shelter. My friend had gone over to see Roscoe and told me he was a sweet boy and had lots of energy to play.  I knew I wanted to see him for myself. I wanted to know if Roscoe was still there.  I also contacted the shelter to see what was required to adopt.  I had told Scott and he agreed that I could visit the shelter but there was no guarantee that we would get a new dog.  My heart went out to this little guy.   I understood what it is like to be over looked. All creatures alike want to be loved.  I was just going to visit, but Scott told me he would meet me at the shelter.  My friend Michael said Roscoe was a “love bug”.  We walked in the gallery to see all the dogs in cages. Some dogs were sleeping, some  dogs were playing and most barking to get attention. Roscoe was standing, looking around.  We took him to a visit room and I fell in love with him.  We took him home that day and he because part of our family.  I was glad to him in and felt he was a wonderful funny guy.  He enjoys riding the car and we took selfies while I drove just minutes after he left the shelter.  He loved riding in my lap and watching the other cars pass by.  We also discovered he loved letting you rub your feet on his back while you sat down.  He liked the attention.  He was so smart and super cute.  And he loved being in his new home.  We enjoyed sharing our life with him too.  He would often go for a ride in the car with his new Daddy and Papi. He oddly would ride facing backwards and look out the back window at the world.   He often kept me company when Scott was out of town for business travel. Roscoe also enjoyed having other dogs to live with.  I thinks Jazzy is his girlfriend.  He loved being in the flowerbeds around the pool and once or twice I would put him in the pool.  He obviously did not like it, and would avoid getting to close if I was in the pool for a swim. He would cut his eyes at me and quickly move out of my reach.  He would always make me laugh. I don’t know why anyone would over look such a good dog, as he was in the shelter for almost two months.  I’m glad we got him!! 

July 2015

We had to say good bye to our little Roscoe today. I have been a mess, crying and broken hearted.  We had just come home from the store and I foolishly put some left overs on the floor for the dogs to make room for the groceries in the fridge.  Roscoe took a hamburger patty and started eating it.  He started choking and was unable to get it back up on his own.  I saw him struggling and tried to pat him to help him,  Scott quickly picked him up and manually tried to remove the lodged meat chunk.  Roscoe was wheezing but not able to breathe.  Scott was quick to start CPR and continued to try to help him.  We held him and I cried as he slipped away.  I never meant to hurt him but my mistake of giving them leftovers is something I struggle with now.  I feel it is my fault.  I told him I was sorry, and that the months he was in our home were so special.  He little lifeless body is something I will never forget.  I am thankful for Scott, he was covered in vomit and I’m proud that he tried to save Roscoe.  I will have to find a way to make peace with this tragedy. Scott said he does not blame me, and I struggle not to blame myself.  I feel like a failure, because we loved him and wanted Roscoe to have a happy life.  He left us too soon and I feel I let him down.  Up until his death, he was the happiest little dog and he died knowing that we loved him.  I am happy that he was part of our life.  Roscoe was our first baby together.  He was a sweet boy.  I’m sorry that it ended this way, you will be in my heart forever.  I think of you every time I’m in the flowerbeds.  Scott and I will miss you.

Thank you to Scott for everything you do.  You are so wonderful whenever I am hurting and sad.  

the smell of old houses

When we lived on Ave B, we referred to it as the “old house”. In fact my sister and I still do. Even though the old house and the new house we move to after that are both since torn down.  The old house has a smell about it that I remember from childhood.   Recently while at an Estate Sale in OKC, I smelled it again.  It is a mix of dust and old wood trapped in old rugs/carpets. The air was pushed around by fans in this 1920’s home.  We walked in to the sale and I immediately knew I had smelled it before as a kid.   My nose soaked it in as I remembered our old home.  This house was large with oversized doorways and windows.  The front living room was anchored by and large brick fireplace. Each side was flanked by chest high built in book cases. I could see wood floors peeking out under old rugs and carpets.  The dining room in the center of the house was so large that it was used as a pass through from the kitchen on one end to the bedroom on the right side. It was essentially the hub of the house.  The large pieces of furniture were placed around the room along with a full sofa. It was a large room. The dining room was grand and spacious with high cross beam ceilings.  This house was a lot grander than were I had lived.  Still the similarities stood out as we shopped the sale.  There was much to choose from. The woman who had died apparently lived a long time in this old house on 39^th street.  Her furniture was amazing and classic. They were well priced antiques, but were out of my budget.  Her cloths were vintage fashions from the 1950’s and 60’s.  She has so many hats, that they were all just heaped into a large box for sale.  I saw many pieces, I‘d love to have them but sadly what would I do with them? They were too small.

I did find a few small items including a piece of Carnival Glass.  I think it’s a tooth pick holder but I will use it as a votive holder.  It will remind me of the day I smelled our old house again.