early pictures

I found some more old pictures. I should not say “Found”.  Found is not really the word. Honestly, I have a four of those old chunky photo albums at home with old drag pictures.  From them I pulled a few to share on my blog.  Many are blurry and out of focus. It was never easy, trying to capture the magic of a dance number on a still image. I would throw a deposable camera in my purse and hit the bar.  Most of them were taken by me or my friends. They were taken before digital cameras were really available.  I have pictures from shows and some are from nights hanging at the local bar in Wichita Falls. Also they document my transformation from a boy in a dress to a queen in an evening gown.  They are good times to remember, but some are not so pretty. I keep telling my self, that we all start somewhere.  We all look back and point out the funny clothes and weird hair styles.  The very first picture of me was taken at my Drag Mother Todd’s Apartment.  We affectionately called him Miss Todd, even though her stage name was Crystal Lace.  Crystal was a local queen back in Wichita Falls.

Well here I am in my black top and gold lame’ pants. I am kind of embarrassed to show this picture from 1994. My sister picked out that small heart choker. It was delicate, like I thought a “girl” should be. I wore a coat because it was cold out side. For the first year of drag, I had one pair of black shoes. I remember Miss Todd referring to them as my “Biscuit heels”. They had short chunky heels, it reminded him of a biscuit. It was not a slim sexy heel, like other girls wore. I did not know how to walk in them. I was more concerned about finding the right size, and less about fashion.  I did not have a wig so Todd let me use one of his old cast offs form the bottom of the closet. It was a mess.  I thought it looked too blunt around the face so I wanted to feminize it with a head band.  Oh my, I think it looks silly now, but back then, I was just trying to fit in. I used some of Todd’s make up. Everyone who was going out, was so worried about their own look, that no bothered to help me. So I just tried my best. I used as little as possible, because I didn’t want to use it all up. After all it was not mine. I did not wear nails, so I kept my hands in my pockets all night.  It took enough courage to pick out those clothes at the mall, I was not brave enough yet to buy fake nails at the beauty supply.  I would have been like announcing to the world “hey I’m weird, please beat me up”. I was just finding out how much I could handle my self. Admitting to myself that I enjoyed being in drag was so against what I was used to.  I was not about to air my laundry to anyone else. Plus I did not want word getting back to my parents, that their son was playing dress up and had been seen buying makeup.

By the next year, I had done three shows, but had gotten dressed up about a dozen times. I was stil in college. We girls would practice our new art by just going out to socialize in drag. It was not uncommon to make plans for the weekend, prepare all week long and then converge on the bar on Saturday night in “geeish” as we called it. It was slag for “Geisha”. Nowadays we all say “going in face”. I was slowly collecting clothes and had a few wigs of my own. The little make up I bought and clothes all had to be kept at Todd’s or with my sister. Each time, I got better and better at my makeup. I had even started thinning my brows and shaving my arms, before I would just over them with sleeves or gloves. I had also bought a real gown with sequins and beads. It cost me 200 dollar at Dillard’s in 1995, but I felt like a goddess. It was too short for a real pageant, but I did not care. I loved to sparkle in it. It was my one good dress. I also found a wig store that was run by an Asian woman. I felt safe buying from her, because my mama did not know any Asian people, who might give me away. I always felt my short wigs made me look older, and in a way, that was ok, because I was only 20.  I didn’t want others to know how young I was. (Now I would kill to look young again.)

In 1996, I was pushing my boundaries’. I had moved away from my parents and was living with friends. My mom was trying her best to deal with my coming out and it was better to give her space. I was running with the queens and enjoying my new hobby. I had even taken a job that allowed me time to be in shows. I had grown my hair out and even tried coloring it red. I wanted to be someone new. I was trying different styles of songs, dress and makeup. I had even hot glued some costumes just to be creative.

By mid 1996, I was doing shows in OKC, in Lawton and had even tried Dallas.  It was nice to be out of town. Once we even took our straight friends to OKC with us. Here is a picture of Heather, Robbie,(her boyfriend) and Johnny, my gay cousin and me. I was back to my natural hair color. No more red. I looked good, it was my “fish” look. I liked OKC because the clubs were located in the same complex as the hotel.  I was no stranger to the Habana Inn on 39^th. It was the gay cruising hotel where men would stay and frolic around the hotel and chase each other. I was not there for the hookups, I was there for the shows. Some times three or four of us queens would travel together. Open talent night was on Thursdays.  We could all stay in one room and paint our faces and dress. Then walk down to the lobby and right into the clubs. The Club was called Gushers back them. It would later be remodeled in to the Copa. I know there were others in the group who only wanted to go” loitering “in the hallways looking for tricks after the club closed. That was their prerogative. I figured if I paid for part of the room, then they could go trick, in their tricks room.  I just wanted to sleep, plus my feet were killing me. I had been through some bad boyfriends; I was not looking for that. I was more interested in refining my craft.