Fingers crossed.

I will now start planning my next pageant season.  I am really thinking I will jump into a regional and not wait until Miss Gay Texas rolls around.   I don’t want to wait until the end of the season to be noticed by the America system. Even if I dont place, they will notice me.  I want to start my PR work early.    I will need to plan carefully.   Do I have enough time?  Can I pull together the money for the national pageant? Not everyone will achive Miss Gay America, but everyone has the oppurtunity to try. You are only a failure if you don't try.   I know where I have been and where I want to be. I want to prove to myself that I can make top ten at MGA. Fingers crossed.

this just popped in my head

We used to live in this two story house.  It seemed large to a little kid.  The house was large, but very old.  I think I may have talked about it before.  We lived there until I was in first grade then we moved across town.  The old house was falling apart, but because my parents were poor, we called it home and tried to make the best of it.  When you are a kid, you really don’t know any different.  You assume that that is just the way things are.  It does not bother you that the sink in the bathroom does not work, that you don’t have hot water coming out of the faucet and that mama got out the big pots to boil water on the stove on bath night.  We didn’t have a phone, no cable.  In the summer we had box fans in the windows and sometimes faced them out ward to pull the hot air out of the house.  The old house was where we lived when my brother and older sister started school.  Like most young kids, my sister was the first to get involved in after school activities.  She was a member of Campfire.  Camp Fire USA, originally Camp Fire Girls of America, is a nationwide American youth organization that began in 1910. Its programs emphasize camping and other outdoor activities for youth. Camp Fire's programs, including small group experiences, after-school programs, camping and environmental education, child care and service learning, build confidence in younger children and provide hands-on, youth driven leadership experiences for older youth. They also sold candy.  I am not sure if they still do, but I remember my sister getting dressed up in her uniform and selling boxes of it.  My mom would make her practice her “lines”. I guess if kids knew what to say they would be able to sell more candy.  My mom would close the bed room door. My sister would pretend she was at a neighbor’s door and give her sales speech while my mom would play the role of  the neighbor /sales victim.  They would try answering the door several times and with different scenarios.  For instance, if the customer said ‘I’m sorry I don’t eat candy’, my sister was taught to say, “perhaps you should purchase some to give to your grandchildren. Candy make a nice gift”  It is funny what you remember from child hood.  It was just something silly I remember. 

Packing and upcoming move.

I wrote this quickly and as usual, I am sure ther are alot of spelling and grammer mistakes:  But here you go world.....

This has been the longest week ever.  I have not so busy at work. But the days seemed to drag by slowly.  I have been tired a lot and not too sure about my upcoming move. I have been packing slowly will do more on saturday  and sunday.  I have to pack all my stuff up and be ready to move in a few weeks.  Just days after Christmas. I am sorting, cleaning and fixing things as I go.  It is heard to believe that I still have so much stuff even after giving away things every time I move.  I have two of every thing it seems.  That is an ok thing , if it were money. There is never enough of that to go around.  In fact I have toyed with the idea of selling some of my antiques on ebay.  I have pottery collection, lead crystal, china, and antiques all that seem to collect duct. I have a saying; if you don’t need it you have to kiss it and say good bye to it. That may mean clearing out the clutter, selling unwanted items or just giving things away. I have so many treasures that I inherited from GW.  But maybe it is time to down size.  I don’t like moving.  I guess that explains why I have been in the same apartment for four years.  It is time for some fresh paint and a new start for 2013.  I always say I have two of everything and I probably do.  I have my coat closet with boxes from the last time I moved.  They will get moved from one closet to the other. 

There are some positive notes to this move.  It is only a short local move.  I am staying in Irving.  So I should be able to move the big stuff in one day. Plus I have freinds who will help me. That should cut down on the moving expense.  Also I am moving into a bigger apartment.   I have several living room pieces including two large book shelves, sectional sofa, recliner and large coffee table. Man, I have a lot of stuff.  Plus bed room furniture and Washer and dryer.  And closet full of drag, fabrics, and craft supplies.  I can feel the stress coming on again.  Maybe I should not think about it. 
I will also be down sizing my fabrics and crafts.  Many times I buy inexpensive crafts, trims and fabrics and them store them until I have a creative idea for them. Very seldom do I buy a fabric with a true idea of what it will become. I create as I go.  Also I try not to waste anything.  Large scraps can always be paired with solids and make a whole new garment.  I joke and say to the girls in the show" wht, you like this old peice of scraps" . They always laugh, but scraps keep my outfits unique and eyecatching. This challenges my creativity and sewing skill.  I usually let the project create itself.  The design is some times dictated by the availability of materials.  For example, yellow.  I have enough fabric for a yellow gown.  I may also have a yard of orange as accent color.  I then pull out all my trims that go with yellow.  Such as stones, appliqués, beads, trims.  And then try to see what I can do with them.  I also like to stone in three colors.  No one likes yellow stones on yellow fabric.  So I mix in yellow, orange and pink.  The color pairing are just ones I think look good together. I seem to have an eye for color combinations. 

Here are some of my fav color combinations.  Lime green and gray, brown and pink, orange and navy, purple and red, brown and orange, green and navy, white and lavender….and many more that pop into my head.  I love color, but ironically the last two dresses I’ve made were plain black.  

Sewing and show

dancing my ass off at Garlows Toys for Tots show

Well I have returned back to doing shows.  The last few shows have been good. I did one two weeks ago locally.  I made a new costume, 31 yards of fringe.  I was very pleased with how it turned out. Then at the show I danced my ass off.  Plus we had a great crowd!  I feel stronger and more confident that things are headed in the right direction. 

Being sick for the last few months has been very scary for me and my friends/ family.  It seemed that my life had become nothing but work, doctor appointments, tests and physical limitations.  Illness has been difficult for me mentally too.  I was weak.  I was trying to put on a brave face.  I didn’t like being dependant on others.  I didn’t want to be a burden.  Now I am improving and feel mentally better too.  I had the weight of the world on my shoulders, how was I going to pay all these bills, plus work and visit the different doctors.  I had cried way too many times over the last few months.  The support of friends and family has been amazing.  I really could not do anything, but take it one day/challenge at a time.  I had gone back to working full time right after getting out of the hospital.  But honestly, I was not well.  I had no choice.  Money pays the bills.  So every day, I struggled to be there, be productive and just earn a living.  I had also been helped by my family and friends with groceries and gas money when I needed it.  These small gifts really helped me get by as I recovered.  They also let me know that other cared about my well being.  I returned to the Lung specialist and he was pleased with my progress.  I have some scarring in my lungs, but overall my pneumonia is healed.  My oxygen level are 99%. I was happy with his results. I don’t have to go back to him anymore.  I just go to my regular doctor now.  (one less  doctor to see!)

I know that friends who faced similar health issues understand.  I have another friend who was diagnosed with diabetes and she worries about being able to financially afford to take care of herself.  I just recently got received the hospital bill. It was over $28,000 for my six day stay in the hospital.  My insurance paid the majority but there is still part that needs to be paid.  I guess it is like the old saying ‘you can’t get blood from a turnip’.  I will pay what I can and try not to stress about the balance that will carry over every month.  I will just paying what I can. 

  I am more of my old self than in recent months.  I traveled out of town this last weekend and had a great show.  I got to see some of my friends and help out a great charity organization.  We raised money for Toys for Tots.  There are many groups that do this kind of fund raising.  Many children will enjoy a brighter Christmas.  I was just glad to help and be apart of the effort again this year. It was a lot of fun and I enjoyed shopping for the kids too.  We raised 4700 in cash, a donor gave 2200 in new bicycles, and another donated about $500 worth of new helmets to go with them.  The total raised was about 7000$ total!  That felt awesome to be a part of it! 

Singing at the Toys for Tots Show at Garlows

Toys for Tots shopping trip the morning after the fundraiser. Our group donated 4700$ in toys! I was so proud.