Once I had a friend describe me as a Wise Old Owl. He was a few years younger and had little life experience. To him, I was very knowledgeable about gay life, drag, friendships and relationships. I admitted to him, that life has been hard for me, and that all each of us can do is try to enjoy it and learn from it.
This weekend was another lesson for me. I was involved in Fort Worth Coronation. I spent late nights and evenings getting dresses ready for my vendor sale. As usual I spent the night before sewing until 4am. Today I feel defeated because my gamble did not pay off. I only sold a few things. In the past, each event has been successful. Now I am not sure if I will do this again. I guess I should give it some time before I decide on way or the other. I invested my own money into making dresses. I spend money on fabrics, zippers, thread, elastics, fasteners, sequins, beads, stones, and trims. So many people do not understand how much time & money going to making a garment. If I sell a dress, I am only recouping the money I already spent to make it. I am not a person who gives up. But maybe it is time for a change. Maybe I should find a new of getting the results I want.
I have been invited to many city coronations. But have chosen to be selective on which ones I attend. It is not profitable to pack up the car and drive hours and hours on the chance that I may or may not have a profitable weekend. My two local events in Dallas and Fort Worth are usually good, because there is not traveling involved. After all this is a business.
This weekend in Fort Worth was hard for me. Many people made rude comments and apparently think its ok to insult my work. That was not cool. These dresses didn’t come from a sweat shop in china. They came from a sweat shop at my house. They demeaned the level of my work. I was insulted by the catty “old fag” that turned her nose up at my selection, scoffed at the price and brag to her friends how she could make it her self for less. I wanted to tell her to go home and make it then. I take pride in my work and know that is good. I was ready to punch her in the face. But I knew that would be the wrong thing to do. So I smiled and thanked her for stopping by my booth. I am there providing a service, I am not a servant you can talk down to. Many court people are arrogant and think they are better than everyone else. They are can also be cheap. They want a dress that looks likes a million dollars and they are only willing to pay twenty bucks for it. I even had one queen inquire about one of the dresses I had on display. She checked out the quality, the size and the price. She said she was considering it and would need to check her bank before making the purchase. I politely answered her questions and told her that I would be happy to make the sale upon her return. She came back a few minute later and brought me cash for the dress. Finally a sale! I put the dress in a bag and thanked her. This was my first mistake. I saw this queen continue her shopping at the other booths. She was carrying her bag like a Bag Lady.
Business was slow. There were a lot of lookers but few buyers. I had a few people inquire about the white dresses I had on display. It was definitely eye catching. But no one was willing to pay the price on the tag. I always price my dresses fairly. If anything, I price too low. I never try to mark up a dress for more than 20% over cost. I have learned not to disclose cost to the customer. Also I will consider the open market price for similar items sold by other dress makers. If they charge 200, I will under cut them and sell for 150, for example. I know many dress makers who make similar dresses and sell them for a lot more than I charge. My stuff is inexpensive but NOT cheap.
My afternoon sales were slow. I had my sister there all day to help me greet people and help me set up and run the booth. She has done several sales with me and the free help is appreciated. My family is good about helping me when they can. I left at 3pm. I also was to be part of the night’s entertainment. I left my sister to watch the booth and I drove the 2o min back home to get painted and dressed. She called me and said the Bag Lady queen was back and wanted to speak to me. Apparently she had second thoughts about her purchase and wanted her money back. I was furious. The nerve. I did not really have a return policy because I am a cash business. I really think she just didn’t have the money to spend and felt guilty about her purchase. I told her I would return shortly, since I had the money in my pocket. I was so mad I could not see straight. I hung up. After all I had put up with all day, the rude comments and bitchy queens. I was DONE. I called a friend for advice. It helped. We all need someone to talk to sometimes.
I painted my face, got dressed and returned to the event. I wore some tan capri’s and a white blouse, my hair was flawless and my makeup soft and natural. I wore some tan sling back heels with tiny bows on the toe. I looked like a rich lady going to the mall for a day of shopping. I was already the best looking lady in the room. I stopped briefly at the booth to talk to my sister. The Coronation had already begun and most attendees were already inside. She knew I was pissed about having to give back that money. She knew I was about to go into “Bitch Mode”. I grabbed the white dress off the rack. I went to an empty conference room out side the grand ball room and put it on. If I can’t sell the damn dresses, I was determined to wear them myself. After all, they were still mine. I grabbed my purse and told my sister to wait outside of the ball room, I would be back. The event had already begun. I walked in and all eyes were on me. That was partially due to my coming in late and patially due the fact that I looked like a Goddess. The speaker continued to make his announcements, but clearly I had just pulled the attention of everyone in my direction. I walked with my head up and looked down at he ugly bitches who insulted me all day. I gave them my killer smile and they knew I looked amazing. I could see the jealousy in their eyes. I am so much more that the person that sews, I am a stunning entertainer who they all wish they could be. I love the look on their cracked faces. I walked to the Bag Lady’s table. I gave her the fake Kiss-kiss. Others at her table looked at me, confused. She checkout my dress, I was stunning. I felt like I wanted to shove that money down her throat until she choked on it. The nerve of her, wanting to return her dress and demanding her money back. I did not force her to make that purchase. I whispered to her. “I usually don’t do this, but here you go” I fake smiled. I tucked the money into her hand. “and if you ever come to my booth again or ever ask me to sew for you again, you can forget it… cause I won’t” The Bag Lady knew I was serious. She was speechless. I stood up, I cut my eyes at her and gracefully walked my self out of the ball room.
I have learned to never let anyone make me feel like my time and skills are not valuable. I am a very talented person and there are plenty of people who are interested in having one of my dresses. I will no longer endure the rude comments or catty remarks from anyone. And if you don’t like my dresses, please get someone else to sew for you. I will no longer sew for people I don’t like. I also learned that next time I need a sign that says 'all sales are final'.
I have even decided to try teaching a beginning sewing class at my home. Maybe I could have three to five students. I could also teach them to sew and serge. I could teach them once a week in the evening. We could work on basics, how to use a pattern, machine maintenance and work on projects like how make a show dress. I think it would be great to share my knowledge with others. Plus I could charge for the classes. Sewing is a wonderful skill to have and its best to learn drag sewing from someone who understands what female impersonation is about.
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