I was once an Indian



Ike Pocowatchit



Birth:	Jun. 12, 1959 Chicago Cook County Illinois, USA
Death:	Sep. 3, 2002 Oklahoma City Oklahoma County Oklahoma, USA
CACHE — Funeral for Dwight M. Pocowatchit, 43, Cache, will be at 10 a.m. Saturday at the Cache Multipurpose Center. A prayer service will be from 7-9 p.m. Friday at Whinery-Huddleston Funeral Service Chapel. Mr. Pocowatchit died Tuesday, Sept. 3, 2002, in Oklahoma City. Burial will be at Post Oak Cemetery. He was born June 12, 1959, in Chicago, Ill., to Nedda and Virgil Allen Pocowatchit. He was a court clerk for the Comanche Tribe. Survivors include a brother, Randall Pocowatchit, Lawton; his grandmother, Mae Cable, Cache; two nephews: Miles and Andrew Pocowatchit, both of Elgin; a niece, Shelby Pocowatchit, Elgin; and an aunt and uncle, Janelle and Jim Shelmadine, Fort Wayne, Ind. He was preceded in death by both parents.   Birth:  Jun. 12, 1959 Chicago Cook County Illinois, USA Death:  Sep. 3, 2002 Oklahoma City Oklahoma County Oklahoma, USA
Burial:  Post Oak Cemetary Indiahoma Comanche County Oklahoma, USA

 --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I found a funeral obituary listing for a guy I used to date. He was Comanche Native American and an active member of the Comanche nation. I met Dwight “Ike”  Pocowachit in about 1997.  He and his cousin J.R. would come to Wichita Falls, from Lawton to party at the local gay bar. 
Wichita Falls and Lawton are about 45 miles apart. Wichita Falls was where I lived at the time we met.  The city of Lawton is located in the southwestern region of Oklahoma, approximately 80 miles southwest of Oklahoma City. Lawton Oklahoma's population was 96,867, making it the fifth largest city in the state. Lawton was built on former reservation lands of Kiowa, Comanche, and Apache Indians.  Lawton's landscape is typical of the Great Plains with flat land and gently rolling hills. Lawton sits just south of the Wichita Mountains. Many people from the tribes remain in the area.  Ike Pocowachit was a strong example of Indian traditions. 
JR and Ike had come to party.  I had seen them at the bar drinks in hand.  Jr was quiet and reserve but Ike loved to dance.  There was a joke that when these “out of towners” entered the bar, we should ‘circle the wagons.’  It was a crude reference to them being Indians.  They looked Indian too. Both had long hair and red skin. Some times Ike would wear a traditional vest decorated with native bead work over a pressed white dress shirt. He was a great dresser.  I loved the smell of Perry Ellis Cologne on his shirt the next day.  He felt it was important to be dress well at all times.   He was not ashamed to wear a feather in his hair.  To me he was very handsome. 
I was introduced to JR and Ike by other friends.  Ike was immediately attracted to me. I was young.   I was about 22 years old and shy.  He pulled me in the dance floor in attempt to make me loosen up and get to know me.  It worked. By the end of the night, we had plans to meet the next weekend.  It was the first of many trips I would take to Lawton to see and spend time with him. It must have been in early fall, because it was the first time anyone had taken me out on my birthday.  I remember how special he made me feel.  I fell for him hard. 

Ike also opened a whole new world to me. He was always involved in Indian tribal business and even worked for the tribe.  Plus Ike was a dancer at the pow -wows.  He competed in contests. He would dress in traditional regalia.  He hated the word costume.  He was true to his heritage and respected in his tribe. I learned a lot about Comanche ways and still know some words. I developed a kinship to the people because of Ike. He was not shy about bringing me along to tribal events.  Many times I would be mistaken for Indian.  But I am not. Tribe brothers knew who I was to Ike. But no one said a word about our relationship. They would always be polite and pass the Indian fry bread at the meal that always followed the contests. 

I remember once, we had partied into the wee hours of the morning before crashing at his place.  Then Ike drove like a maniac in order to make the registration for a contest the next morning.  I thought for sure he was going wreck my car.  He was half tired and danced like shit in that contest.  Too many drinks and not enough sleep is a terrible combination.  In some ways Ike was still stuck in college years.  Anyone who has ever matured into adulthood and over 30 may understand.  When you are in college,.18-22.  You enjoy partying and don’t worry too much about responsibilities and obligations the next day.  That was Ike.  He still thought the world was one big frat party.  He was into sex, young guys and drinking until you pass out.  All three would become his down fall. 

I loved him and I cared very deeply for Ike.  He was hot in bed and his party attitude made me want to party too.  I had always been so shy and quiet.  He showed me it was good to enjoy life.  I had already been doing drag.  Ike had been to a few shows, and introduced some of his Indian friends to me in drag.  It was the first time I had ever heard the word garish.  I was  hurt, because I thought I looked pretty.  The ladies in the group, I think were a jealous.  They knew Ike was gay, but they still wanted him. The always had their eyes on marriying with inthe Indian clan.
Ike was special and kind, but not perfect.  He had faults. He drank too much, was not dependable and never fully committed to any relationship. This included ours.  Yes, he was not faithful.  So I ended our relationship.  It was tough to love some one who did not love me in return.  I confronted him, found the truth and moved on with my life.  It took some healing but I would be ok. 

I meet GW a few years after dating Ike.  Then in 2002, Ike died. He had contarcted HIV and suffered complications from AIDS.  Victor, another Indian friend, called me.  He knew how much I cared for him and wanted to pass the news.  GW was there when I got the call.  I never told him that Ike was an ex boyfriend.  I lied and said he was just an old friend. It had been five years since I had seen him. I was sad about his death.  I always kept that from GW.  There was no need in rehashing the past in front of the man I loved currently.   I tucked the pain and loss away.   I have good memories of Ike.  The things he taught me remain.  I still eat Indian fry bread, and share my knowledge of Indian folk lore that I remember.  I also think of him with his beautiful hair with a feather in it.  And when ever I see Native American people today, I think “we better circle the wagons”.  Maybe one day I will find the cemetery where he is resting, just to say hello. Its been a long time.