tight rolled jeans, so 80's

I miss being a kid.  I had a friend who lived across the street from me.  He was very handsome and out going.  He was very different from me.  At that time, I had a few friends at school, but none in my neighborhood.  He also had a unique name. Kalan. Yes everyone always said that sounded like a girls name.   He and his family moved into the two story house across the street. It had been vacant for a few years.   His friendship came at a point when my brother stopped wanting to play with me. He had his friends and would often go play basketball with them. Kalan’s mother was a manager at a local store.  His dad was very laid back but did not work.  I found this odd.  I guess because my own father had been the dominate bread winner in our family.  Kalan seemed to know a lot about the world. He was very hip for a kid in 6^th grade.  He listened to real rock music and dress with the latest 80’s trends. He wore acid washed jeans and neon t-shirts with rolled t-shirt sleeves. .  He even tight rolled his jeans so his high tops shoes would show.  If you double them over and then roll them up, that is tight rolled.  He was cool, I was just ordinary.  He was the only kid in our school who had an earring.  He caught hell for it too. Even my Dad made jokes about him.   The older boys in school called him names, but Kalan didn’t seem to let it bother him. For the next year he was my best friend.  He was cute and smart. The local girls all had crushes on him too. I think back now and maybe I had a friend crush on him.  I did like looking at his body. But I was too shy to say anything.  I had feeling I didn’t understand.  He had an older brother in high school.  He was a little odd but smart.  Kalan and I would hang out and talk. He introduced me to the music of the Beastie Boys. Their album ‘Licensed to ILL’ had been released in 1986.  It was very popular music that was not played in my small town. The Beastie boy also released a song called Brass Money.  I had no idea what a Brass Monkey was, but I loved listening to the song at high volume. We listened to it over and over.  Kalan would try to sing the rap lyrics like a rapper.  It made me laugh. We would talk about our friends from school or about our families.  He always wanted to start his own business.  He would have been good at it. He had natural charm and was friendly.  We were both in junior high band.  Kalan was a drummer and I played the trumpet.  As a drummer, they had different percussion instruments to use.  The snare drum was just the basics.  There were other larger drums and various other instruments.  It was not unlike Kalan to play with them all during class.  We would walk home together from school and often play after school.  He always wanted to go ride bikes.  Some times we would explore the alleys and end up in a small wooded area behind a near by housing development.  There were some small mounds of dirt and some tree that a bike trail had been made through.  Some times you could see dirt bike or three wheeler tracks.  But they were just as fun on regular bikes too.

Kalan moved the following year. I was heart broken.   I think his mom switched stores.  That happens in small town.  People move in and out all the time.  And some families stay for years,  like mine did.  I am pretty sure I cried. I told him goodbye.  I remember I gave my friend my address so we could write and our number so that he could call. But I never heard from him again.  I wonder if he ever started his own business?  

halloween thoughts

I used to love Halloween.  As  a kid it was fun to decorate the front yard with mummies and grave stones.  It really got us kids in the mood for trick or treating.  Some years we would have a Halloween party and invite neighbor hood friends.  We would also pass out candy and or dress up like zombies and jump out to scare people when they came up to our door.  As I got older I would go to the local Halloween parties at the local bar.  I even hosted the Halloween drag show a few times. This would include local queen and also included a Halloween costume contest for every one to show off their best costumes.  I always chose a girl costume.  I left the “just being in drag” costume to the amateurs.  Once I went as a cave woman. But every one thought I was a rocker chick. I guess the wild hair was just confusing.  I also went as a vampire.  I painted my face pale and wore a sexy little back dress and a cape with red lining.  It fun, but every one kept calling me Elvira. 

The first Halloween I spent with GW was fun.  I was hosting the show at the local bar back home.  There were several good costumes.  It is the only time I put makeup on GW. He had zero interest in feminine things like makeup.   We dressed as pirates.  I was a girl pirate with the white blouse, red and white striped skirt with a pirate hat.  I love this costume too because I could wear my favorite boots.  GW was my first mate.  He wore a red and white shirt black pants and rugged boots.  I painted a gruff looking pirate beard on him and gave him and eye patch.  He looked very rugged and sexy.  He was never one to play with costumes but he went along with it for me.  He always did what ever to make me happy. 

Once he went as a priest and I went as a nun.  I wore a typical nun habit and some retro cat eye glasses,  I also That was a fun costume to make.  I used this costume for a couple of shows too.  GW would laugh and say, ”come here my child and tell me your sins”  I would act offended and he would laugh.  He and I shared a special humor and private jokes. That was one of the many things I loved about him. 

We also ventured out to celebrate Halloween in Dallas when we first lived there.  The Dallas gay neighborhood has an annual block party. The block party is a huge event.  Thousands of people attend. GW and I went and had a good time, but vowed not to go back again. The crowds were too big and parking was a nightmare. It is a neighbor hood, not a shopping mall.  There were too many people for our liking.  These included a lot of drunk rude people.  We enjoyed smaller parties with friends.   I had made several friends and were some times invited to enjoy a more relaxed and friendly good time. The last few years have attended a few private parties.  There is one friend in Dallas who hosts a Halloween party at her home and invites people.  It is a fundraiser for local AIDS Charities.  Everyone has a great time and we give back to charity.  There is food, music dancing, drinks and even a costume contest.  It is a lot of fun. 

I am not sure what costume I will choose this year.  I need to do something fun, but not too campy. 

the Old Mrs. Davis

I remember in third grade my school put on a variety show.  Each class from the elementary school would do a play, or a skit or sing songs.  This year we did a celebration of Texas.  My teacher, the Old Mrs. Davis, was also a piano player.  Kids referred to her as “the Old Mrs. Davis” because there was a young teacher at the school. She was also Mrs. Davis.  I don’t think they were related; they just shared the same name.  The Old Mrs. Davis was short and old. She wore printed dresses and senible shoes.  She had thick glasses and a simple hairstyle.  She was friendly.  She would always brag about her healthy smile.  It was her way of encouraging the students about good oral care. “I’ve never had a cavity in my life” she would brag.  Weeks before the school program, we kids would practice our songs and talk about what to wear.  We were far from being a professional performance group but was fun to out on a show.   The Old Mrs. Davis wanted all of the kids to wear dark blue jeans and plain red shirts.  The look would be made complete on the night of the programs when we would tape big white stars on our chests.  This would be a tribute to our Texas theme.  We were supposed to mimic the look of the Texas flag.

I loved music as a kid.  I would always sing along with the radio.  My mom loved country music. This was years after her disco phase.  I grew up on it.  One day during practice Mrs. Davis asked me to sing my part in front of the class.  She liked the way I sang.  So as the music started I watched Mrs. Davis behind the piano. She signaled me with a head nod so I would know when to start singing.  I started singing the first phrase. I was a little embarrassed.  My voice echoed of the walls in the cafeteria stage where we practiced.  The class clapped.  It felt good.  Mrs. Davis announced that they would be making the opening phrase to our Texas song a solo.  Imagine me, singing a solo.  This was something I never expected.  I was just a kid.  Nothing special had ever happened to me.   No one had ever given the opportunity to stand out.  It made me happy.  And other kids supported me.  These were the innocent years.  No one was jealous or made mean comments.  The support was genuine.

The night of the music program, all the kids were at arrive early to the high school. The high school had a real auditorium.  Our elementary had little more then a stage in the cafeteria.  It was a big deal to be performing at the high school.  All of the school parents got dressed up and came to watch their children. My mom put on some makeup and did her hair.  My mom had three of her kids in the programs. Each child was in a different grade.  She would be there the entire night.  They had each class meet our teachers in the gym behind the auditorium.  They would take roll and get us lined up.  The youngest grades went on first.  The older kids closed the show.  There were risers set up on stage for us to stand on. They reminded the kids on the back row not to fall off the back of the risers. Luckily no one fell backwards.   I was told to stand on the floor level at the end.  I was nervous as the curtain opened.  The bright floor lights made it hard to see the crowd.  I could hear the applause as they announce our class lead by Mrs. Davis.  Mrs. Davis motioned for me to step forward and up the microphone.  It was on a stand at the center round of the stage.  The black cord was curled down the mic stand and on the floor like a snake.  I stepped over it.  I didn’t want to get bit. Mrs. Davis nodded in support.  I looked forward as the intro music started.  Mrs. Davis took a visible deep breath as a signal for me to start.  I sang.  I had never sung into a microphone before.  It projected my voice louder than I was used to.  I could hear my self for the first time.  It was good for a kid.   I gave a solid performance.   I finished the last few words of my solo and already the crowd applauded.  The other kids joined in and continued sing as I stepped back to my place on the corner of the group.  The program was a success and I felt special when it was over.  The other kids told me good job but the best was a big hug from my mom.  Every kids loves a bug hug from mom. It was my first taste of show business. 

stay focused

I have a few things on my mind today.  I am trying to stay focused on the future. 

This month I have several doctor appointments.  I am having some dental work done.  I need to maximize my insurance and flex spending account by the end of the year.  If I don’t, I will lose the money I have been paying in all year.  I waited to get it done due to my personal show schedule.   I want to start next pageant season looking and feeling my best.  I have lost 3o lbs in the last 6 months.  My goal is to lose another 20.  I am finally out of the ‘obese range’ on the Body Mass Index.  I hate that term obese.  Diet and exercise have been good for my self esteem.  My diet is no sugar, low fat, lots of veggies and little processed foods. Also lean protein in small portions.  And  I drink water constantly.  Some times I will have iced tea, but avoid soda.  The water also helps with my bladder and kidney health. The only draw back is having to pee all the time.  I also try to walk when I can.  Walking is a low impact aerobic exercise.  I started walking at break time earlier this year.   It is about a mile around our building at work.  If you walk twice a day, that is two miles.  That could be about 10 miles a week.  I did not walk as much due to heat of the summer.   On rainy or hot days, coworkers and I would walk around the indoor perimeter of our warehouse.  It was a shorter distance, but still it was beneficial. 

I have also stopped smoking.  I was not a heavy smoker.  I was more of a social smoker.  I enjoyed a smoke if I went out to a bar or if I was nervous at a show.  So I decided to quit.  It is one less thing to worry about affecting my health. 

Next month, I have already agreed to be a vendor at Dallas Coronation.  I am hoping to sew a new line of dresses that will be for sale. I have opted out of the last few invitations from other cities due to my personal schedule.  But now,  I have time to dedicate to making this sale a success.   I tried to work on a few projects the other night, but just spent a few hours cleaning my drag room instead. It needed it.  I am glad it was productive. 

By the end of the year I will be moving.  I am considering moving to a new area of DFW.  I need to start looking and checking availability.  I should start packing at some point. My lease is up in December.  Maybe I will move to a more quiet area.  I enjoy being in the center of Dallas and Fort Worth, but currently many centrally located suburbs are under construction.  I will consider my options. 

movies

A funny story.  My mom would sneak in her own snacks into the movie. That included candies or a bottle diet coke .   Once she stopped at Whataburger and put the hamburgers in her purse.  The other people in the movie were jealous as my mom whispered “pass the fries”.

do what you have to do

My mother wanted to be a nurse when she was a kid. She shared that with me once. I think my mother would have a been a great nurse.  It was just her nature.  When you are a kid the world seems simple.  If you want to be something, you just go to school and learn about it.  Then you can graduate and work in that career.  That sounds simple.  But life does not always work out so simply.  

My mom married my dad and left the world she knew behind in California. She had no family support in Texas.  I'm sure that was hard.  I think my mom resented my dad in a way.  She loved him and she wanted to be married, but he kept her in a limited life.  He only wanted a wife. He never asked her what she wanted out of her life.  He expected her to raise the kids and take care of the house.  That is what she did.  She only had a high school education and lived in a small town with little job opportunities. During hard times my mom would work to bring in more money.  She had dreams of her own, but she put them aside.  She was a married woman, not a career woman. She quickly found herself raising small children.  That included me.

 She took what ever minimal job she could get.  She worked as a cook, as a cleaning lady and had previously worked at a shop that overhauled electric motors for use in the oilfield. Imagine, my mom working in a motor shop. These were not gasoline motors. They were large electric motors used in the oil field.  The large motors are driven by electric current.   The motor contains magnets and a copper coil that turns a central shaft.  The electricity passes through the coils, the magnets begin to spin and rotate the shaft.  This shaft is connected by belts to a pulley that pumps the oil pump. The large motors are quite heavy and are incased inside of heavy die cast shells.  The motors are bolted to a frame that makes the oil pump one “unit”.  The term “unit” is apart of oil field vernacular.   

The motors would burn out and have remanufactured.  This included re winding a new coil in side the motor.  That is what motor shop did.  They would remove the burned out copper and reset the magnets and rebuild he motor.   It could be steady work for those who wanted to do it.  The shop was owned by a neighbor friend of my dad.  It was little more than a empty store front in down town Electra.  It had large bare windows. The windows were cracked and held together with tape so the window would not shatter.  The building was bare inside.  The walls were peeling paint and the concrete floor  were bare from the removal of the linoleum tiles. There was a pair of large doors that lead to the street side.   There was little fear of theft in Electra.  If some one was to steal and old motor, what would they do with the heavy thing?  If they tried to resell it, everyone would know where it came from. Plus most of the old motors inside the shop where useless until they had been rebuilt. They offered her the job, but it would be hard, dirty work.   My mom was willing to do anything for a paycheck.  She shared the philosophy of most parents: do whatever you have to do.  

It was a labor job but my mom was no stranger to hard work. She learned quickly and tried hard.  Mom only worked there for a short time, I think because the men in the shop made it hard on her and one man tried to make a pass at her. 

I wish Mom was still around to ask her more questions about her about her life.  I can only talk about the things that I remember her telling me.  I try to remember this story an inspiration.  Espeically when I face my own obstacles and I have to "do what I have to do" in my life.

a quick thought

I have never thrown myself a birthday party.  GW would always make a family party or take me to dinner. But the last few years have passed quietly.  Maybe this year I will try to make a plan for my birthday.    Maybe I can plan a dinner party with friends.  I would love to invite friends over to my place for a dinner party, but honestly I don’t have the space. Plus, these friends all have nice homes and I just live in an apartment.  I don’t want to have a bar party, I want it to be more personal and special. Maybe appetizer and cocktails followed by a nice meal. My friends can eat and share time together.  I wish someone would host the party at their house. That would be nice.  I would love to help cook and maybe set up the party. I imagine laughing with friends and sharing food.  Or maybe I will invite friends to come out to dinner with me. I know a great restaurant.    Does that sound pathetic?  Throw my own party?   Maybe I’m afraid that no one will show up. Or maybe will let it pass with no celebration at all. It was just a thought. 

just the pictues ...and the rest of the story.

All the contestants and me on night one. Close of night one.

Mattie Crowns Natasha Parson on final night



Foam set pieces. painted peices left to dry



I wanted to quickly add a pictue of my set design from Miss Gay Texas State Pageant that was held Labor day weekend.  I was so pleased with how it turned out... the full story will follow but I wanted to post the picture now. I built a golden teple for out Ladies on Safari theme. Set Design by Mattie Madison.

Set Design by Tomas Flores and Wendy Flores...my unpaid intern.

Guest Performance during the pageant

Opening Production: Jungle Head Hunter

 

the rest of the story: 

I have now completed my year as Miss Texas State At large.  There were many tears shed, but all were tears of happiness. I am very proud of the work I did all year long.  I was also glad to see my girls shine like stars in this year’s state pageant.  I am also thrilled with my successor, Natasha Parson of Dallas. Natasha is the new Miss Gay Texas State at Large 2013.  She will do a great job. Joining Natasha is her counterpart, Madison Deveroux Miss Gay Texas State 2013.

Kristen Paige and I are so sad to go, but these new girls will do a fine job!

I was also pleased with my set design. I had been working for several months on coordinating, planning and creating the pieces that were needed to create a Golden temple in a jungle.  This was all part of our “ladies on safari” theme.  Our opening presentation would showcase the outgoing title holders, Mattie (me) and Kristen Paige.  Kristen had coordinated the music.  I was taking on the challenge of the set decorations. 

how to make a banana tree

I had drawn a quick sketch several months ago and had the concept in my head.  I collected items to use for the stage. It is part of my creative processes. I would look at something and think what I could do with that.  I would use my imagination. Luckily, I had access to wood, hardware and cardboard from my job.  All of these things have a non-value and are usually discarded. Anything I wanted, the warehouse would save for me.   I had also asked friends to borrow large plants and faux trees for completing out jungle theme.  I worked hard painting the foam pieces.  The pieces were sold in four feet sections that could easily be transported in my car. I would not have a van until the day of the pageant.  It was money out of my own pocket. I would have to budget my money. I had already spent over $300 in supplies.  It would be easier to use precut pieces and not a full 8’ by 4’ sheet that are also available at the Home Depot.   I painted each to resemble a stone blocks.   The day of the pageant would be the first time I would see my left and right sides assembled, due to my small work space at home. I had already covered the dinning room table to use it as a work table for painting. 

There were also many greenery pieces that I made before the pageant. My living room looked like a work shop. Leaves, vines, grass, and floral moss.  I would turn these supplies into unique set pieces with creative crafting.   I made banana trees out of cardboard tubes.  I was in Dallas to the warehouse fabric stores.  As I was checking out, I noticed a barrel full of cardboard tubes. The tubes were used to roll the fabric and were usually thrown away after the fabric was all gone.  I asked if I would have some of them. They happily gave them to me.  They were four inches in diameter and about five feet in length.  I took them home.  I covered them in brown packing tape first.  Then I painted them with left over brown, black and yellow paints.  I started with a base coat of brown paint then dry brushed them length wise with black.  The combination of colors looked like bark.  Then I high lighted with yellow.  I used the same dry brush technique.  I had bunches of faux banana leaves at a local store. They were flat wide leaves.  I attached them in a staggered pattern to the tube. I attached them near one end of the tube.  This would be the top of the tree when it was vertical.  Then I arranged the attached bunched on leaves to mimic and natural pattern of how they might grow. I then hot glued floral moss to cover the screws where the leaves were attached.  It was a great idea that was visually perfect. They looked real.   I made several other plant pieces.  It was fun to see how real I could make them look.

              I also made a rock.  I made it out of chicken wire and spray foam insulation.  I wrapped a medium size box with chicken wire. Then I filled in the space between the wire and the box with plastic grocery bags.  Then I began spraying foam into the holes of the wire.  The foam expanded over the wire and then began to harden.  After it was formed, I removed the box and plastic filler bags.  I was left with a foam rock shell.  I then painted it gray and brown and highlighted the bumps of the rock. I then added moss to the bottom for a more realistic look. I used hot glue to attach the moss.  It looked so real and weighed about 1 pound.

The day of the pageant I was stressed from the start. I had slept very little from the show the night before.  I had drank a little too much.   I had rented a cargo van to transport the tree and set pieces.  I had gotten up early to pick up the van then drive south to pick up the trees and then return to the club.  The contestant meeting was at 10:30.  I hoped  to find time to start setting up the stage. But I would have to wait until after the meeting.  The meeting was good. The contestants were in a good mood.  One girl came late. Kristen and I quickly put together some gift bags for the contestants. She and I purchased small items to put in the bags.  These included candy, small trinkets and a stuffed monkey. We wanted to show our girls that they we wished them good luck.  The monkeys were so cute and went with our theme.  This is also how we drew numbers for the pageant.  The bags were numbered.  The girls chose bags randomly. 

After the meeting, I continued to work on the set.   I quickly put together a small mock up of the set.  The set on night number one included trees and a stone pillars. That was all.  The pillar pieces would be repurposed for final night. Because the pageant was two nights, I wanted to save the full assembly for the final night. It looked simple but great on night one, night two look amazing with the full temple built in the middle of our faux jungle!  I also made all the centerpieces for the table in the bar.  I took bamboo place mats and cut them in half and glued them around foam disks.  I hot glued floral moss and raffia around the outside and added battery candles inside. They were the perfect table lanterns. 

Day two: I had to take all these small set pieces and assemble them into a temple.  But how?  I had a plan in my head.  Each ”block” of foam would then be arranged in a triangle stack. I wanted more of an Indiana Jones temple and not an Egyptian pyramid.   I would accomplish this by building a frame work of 1x2 wood planks on the floor.  I originally was going to staple the foam in place using a staple gun. This would have been faster to assemble. But the foam was easily punctured and the staple would pop through and not hold.  The foam would need to be screwed to the frame.  I added washers to the screws to keep the foam block in place.  I love making things and have all my own tools. I love anything creative.

I also want to thank to my sister Wendy for helping me.  She is always my unpaid intern.  I have thought about paying her, but then she will want benefits and holidays off….so I guess we will keep it like it is for now.  She held the ladder while I mounted the set pieces, carried trees and even swept the van before we took it back. She is a hard worker. Plus she is willing to put up with me.  She also kept the volunteers away from me while I worked.  People kept bugging my while I worked.  They had good intentions. Sometimes I work better with out distractions from people who don’t know what the heck I’m doing.  Plus I had no idea what I was doing either.  I had a pile of pieces that I had to make match the vision in my head. I had to bring everything with me I may need.  I brought the staple gun, drill, craft box, and a box I use at home full of hardware such as screw, nuts, bolts, washers, nails and fasteners.  That was the challenge. I didn’t want to forget anything I might need to assemble a frame.  I felt butch using my power tools. I quickly took the pillars apart.  I took the trees and moved them over to one side.   It would be easier to work on one side of the stage at a time. I worked in the after noon to complete the set.  I erected two temple pieces around the existing doorway.  Each side was about 8 feet tall.  I built the frames on the floor, tiled them with foam blocks and lifted them into place.  Once both sides were done, I added the topper over the door way.  The plants were added in place.  I added up lights on the floor. The lights made the yellow stones more visible behind the trees. I had so many compliments from friends about the set. I felt like I had made a Hollywood set.  I have to admit, I am proud of my self. I can make anything!