I had a few friends when I was in fourth grade. It was a period in my life when I just discovering who I was, but still not sure what that meant exactly. I enjoyed school and always looked forward to the summer. My friend Michael lived four blocks away. We would walk to my house after school. The intention was to ask my mom if I could go over to his house and usually it was a yes. We would then continue to his house while laughing and talking. He would ride his bike, I would walk. Michael was an only child and we became friends in PE. I enjoyed playing dodge ball and other school games. We seemed to be cool friends. He also had two small dog named Cookie and Peanut. I always thought those were silly names. They were fun to play with and I remember the jingle as they would run around his back yard. Our dog had neither a collar nor tags. His parents worked until the evening, so we could watch TV, play video games or listen to music. I remember hearing George Strait for the first time on the stereo. He was so young and cute. But these were words I has was not ready to say out loud. It was about 1983. Michael had some cool video games. It was the early 80’s, so there were only a few out. But he had them. It was the first time I had ever played a video game. I remember how the brown clucky box looked with two joy sticks connected by wires. You would have to shut it off and get it to reset itself if it froze up. The game console had four switches and you could play solo or against another player.
That seems like so long ago. Michael would also watch cable including MTV and HBO. Cable was something we didn’t have at my house. I remember watching ‘Porky’s’, a secret I never told my mom. There was brief nudity and crude humor. She would have killed me. For the most part the gags were funny, but I didn’t always understand the sexual humor. After all I was just a kid. I was only about 9 years old. My mom would have killed me if she knew. She thought we were working on home work the whole time. Michael’s Mom and Dad were nice people. His dad was a former military, and worked as a city cop. His mother was trained as a nurse, but worked as an EMT for the small city where we lived. They had a nice modest home, much nicer than ours. But still they were not home a lot. Michael spent a lot of time at home alone. His dad loved to grill and often invited me to stay for dinner. I would always have to call my mom and ask permission. How embarrassing. I remember my mom always telling me “a guest is a guest” and not to eat more than anyone else. They are being polite by asking. “Don’t over stay your welcome.” His dad was also a scout leader and liked teaching Michael and I about outdoor stuff. Camping and fishing are things I still enjoy, but don’t do very often anymore. Michael’s mom also taught us first aid and we got badges from out scout troop. Michael was my friend for two years. It was nice. There were many days we would go exploring the woods on the edge of town or ride the back alleys on his three-wheeler. That is another secret I never told my mother. It was nice to be just a boy and have a friend who seemed to enjoy being my friend. Michael and I would also play with his toys. Like many only children, he often played alone. He seemed to have had so much: toys from hot wheels to action figures to puzzles . He always had a new bike for his birthday. I don’t think I ever had one of my own. It seemed Michael had all these things but no one to play with. I think about my own siblings. We had to make up our own games. We played together, because we were always together. I some times wanted to be like Michael. Surely it could not be that bad. Nice parents, your own room, great toys, free roam of the house every day! My house was the exact opposite! Cramped, old, lots of noise, few toys, and just regular parents. My dad was not a cop nor my mom a nurse. My dad was a laborer and my mom was a cook. Still it was nice to be Michael’s friend and enjoy things I did not have at my house. Michael and I would laugh and talk and just be buddies. But sadly things changed as we entered junior high. I don’t really know why. Maybe as we matured our interests changed. I played in the band. Michael got involved in sports, especially foot ball. In Electra, football was a community activity. It would only be a few more years; the Electra tigers would win the 1985 state championship.
Michael and I graduated together, but were not friends in high school. Michael was involved in athletics and hung with the jocks. I was a band geek and hung with the other geeks. Plus I was starting to figure out who I was as a gay man. So the tendency for me was not to draw attention to my self. I was not ready to be out. Jocks and gay band nerds don’t really interact. I don’t know why, but maybe he just knew I was different. I was not interested in him, but truly enjoyed being friends. Nothing more. I think that is hard for teenage boys to understand . Being gay, does not mean you can not have platonic friends of the same sex. I have many coworkers and male friends who are straight. They are attractive, but I am not attracted to them. I have become more secure in my manhood and my life as I have gotten older. I find the more people I interact with, the more accepting I am to differences. But just for the record, I still don’t hang with the jocks. Not because I’m gay…but because I don’t like football.
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