I often went with my college buddies to the mall, movies and
even a few night clubs. We had fun
together. It was me, my roommate James, Jay
and brothers Marc and Andrew. I meet all
these guys at MSU. I was a freshman and
did not have any classes with friends from high school. I had to make all new friends.
James was the only one of us with a girlfriend so he didn’t
always go place. He was usually busy spending time with his clingy girl friend
to hang with the guys. Lord knows how
many times we would sneak Brandy into the dorms afterhours. James sand I shared a room that was directly
under the view of the security cameras.
It was like having a private entrance that only required you had to jump
a three foot brink wall to get in.
Sometimes we opened the window for girls we didn’t even know but they
wanted in to see their boyfriends on another floor. Looking back now we should have charged five
buck and used the money to buy beer on the weekends. Imagine 19 year old me, barely out, enjoying
the freedoms of college including clubs and my first taste of alcohol. The word alcohol sounds too classy, really it
was cheap beer.
My buddies and I would hang out in the dorm lounge together.
We enjoyed watching Beevis and Butt-head on MTV. They were cool. Eventually we would gather together during meals
in the student cafeteria. We would joke and carry on. Every time I would show up later than the
other guys, it was like an episode of Cheers.
Do you remember when one of the regular patrons would enter the bar….yep
my buddies would holler out in unison “NORM!” Everyone in the place would turn and
look. Yep that was a nick name I
secretly hated. I was “Norm” But really,
it was nice to be included in the group.
So I would just smile and laugh.
James was my roommate.
We had been paired together by the housing department. He was from
Burleson, just south of Fort Worth. I
had a sociology class with Jay. So we
became friends. He lived on the second floor of my building. He was from Rockwall, east of Dallas. Marc and Andrew were brothers from Austin
area. I had seen them in marching band but did really know them until we all
started hanging out in the dorms. They
lived down the hall from James and I.
Once, the guys and I went to the strip club. It was not my
idea, but I went along. There was a couple of clubs on the shady part of town.
I had never been there. I was barely out
as a new gay person; therefore I had no interest in going. My buddies did not know I was gay, so I
played along and went with them. We
arrived about 10pm. The parking was
crowed and dimly lit. I felt unsafe in the neighborhood. Woman walked up and down the sidewalk, I was
pretty sure they were hooker or drug addict looking to make a few bucks for
their next fix. We parked and made our
way inside. We were stopped at the front
door and had to show ID. I got a
big X on both hand but was allowed
entrance. The X signified me being under
age and was not allowed to drink. I was a good thing we had a few drinks before
we left the dorms.
The music was loud and I felt awkward being there. It felt like a pervert. I guess I still don’t understand how a group
of men can lust over the same thing and share their private fantasy in such a
public place. We took seats at a table
near the stage. A young Hispanic girl
with rather large breasts finished up her dance and collected her small pile of
money. We ordered some drinks. The guys
were mesmerized by the topless women who would shake and grind in front of them
until they would give up their dollars.
The women were not very pretty, as a gay man, was looking in their faces and wondering who
they were. It was not unusual to find
girls from broken homes or troubled backgrounds. Some has “daddy/self-esteem”
issues according to my sociology classes.
Sociology is the study of human social relationships. These ladies made money by showing their
bodies, dancing topless and some even gave lap dances and let men touch
them. Honestly these ladies sold
themselves for a handful of dollars. But
to the men in the audience, and my friends it was just a cheap thrill. I was a participating observer. I laughed when they laughed and hooted when
they hooted and cheered when they cheered.
But the awkward feeling never left the pit of my stomach. This was a place where men could objectify
women, and treat them without respect. I
tried not to show that it bothered me.
To me the most entertaining part was when a one armed woman came out to
dance and strip. I was not sure whether
to laugh or not. She danced mostly to
the side so only her good arm faced the audience. Her other arm was covered with a tube sock
with triple bands of red. Her white lace
bra and panties seemed to glow purple under the black lights over the
stage. The guys and I could not believe
our eyes when she turned. A crudely
marker drawn smiley face was on the foot of the dirty sock. We tried to contain our laughter, but the
audience of men, all howled. I imagine
the poor girl heard them too. But still
she removed her top and continued to grind on the pole like all the others. She was there
to do her job and make her money. I
guess I felt sorry for her. I had never
seen anything so sad.
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