Am I special yet?

When I was a kid, no one ever asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up.  I really had no idea what I could become.  I used to make up plays, and act out movies or Tv shows with my siblings. But no one really cared about the future.  We were too busy just being kids.  Perhaps if someone had planted the seed into my head, I would have given it some real thought and worked at a young age to make that dream come true.  It amazes me when you see 14 year old teenagers in the Olympics.  I assume they trained for years to achieve high level of success in athletic sport such as gymnastics.  I might have wanted to be a doctor and dream of helping the sick. Perhaps an early curiosity in science may have lead me in that direction.  Or maybe I would be a lawyer I would win cases and sending criminals to jail.  That would have been rewarding.  Once we took a field to the central fire station in Wichita Falls.  Our town only had a small volunteer fire department.  So, Wichita Falls Fire Department was the real deal.  We got to meet firemen and see the big trucks as part of our tour. Being a fire man would have been an exciting career.   I may have wanted to be a rock star.  I remember kids would dress up as a rock star for Halloween.  My parents never pushed me into activities such as sports. I probably would have resisted, if they had.  We had local little league and school sports, but I had no interest. I did, however play summer baseball, but never was very good at it. I was always in right field.  I only played two seasons. I got involves in scouts in elementary school, my mother was our Den leader.  We had weekly meetings and community projects.  They were fun and we worked to earn merit badges.  I did meet one man, a Scout leader from another town.  His group was at the same summer camp as ours.  He has friendly and seemed to enjoy teaching and mentoring.  He told me that one day I would be someone very special. I don’t know if anyone had ever said that to me before. I sure didn’t feel very special.  I was always struggling, trying to fit in.  As I think about it now, I wonder if maybe he knew I would be gay. Perhaps I exhibited some characteristics as a child, I’m not sure.  I don’t think that kids are aware of such things while they are happening. I some time wonder if I ever became someone special.  I guess you don’t see it while its happening.