Good Friends

Why does everyone leave me?  Good friends are hard to find. I moved to DFW in the fall of 2002.  My husband and I moved to Arlington so that he could pursue his masters degree in Social Work. He worked very hard and finished his degree in a year and half.  I was very proud.  We did not know people in Arlington, so we kept to ourselves.  We worked very hard to move forward in life. We had even looked at a house in another suburb.   But our plan changed when he got sick with cancer. (That is a story that I will share later. It is very painful.)  He could no longer work and we stayed in that apartment until his death. We had the same apartment there for almost three years.  By apartment standards, that is a long time. Through it all, I had just a few friends from my work. I was not really doing drag at that time.  I was focusing on being a husband and friend to my dyeing spouse.  My friend Adam was there.  He was the first person I called when GW died.  I was crying so hard and my mind was a blur.  He even took me to the funeral home to make the arrangements. His friendship was a true comfort. It was a hard time in my life.  Soon after, Adam moved. He now lives in Corpus Christi TX. He and his partner got married last year.  We still talk, but I miss my good friend. He always made me laugh. 

A few months later, I moved to Keller Texas, just north of Fort Worth.  My job was going good, and I felt I should move closer to it. Plus I was in mourning and wanted to make a change.  Living close to work would save me from the 45 minute commute.  I also started going to the bars in Fort Worth.  There was one called the Stampede.  It was a small country bar. I liked it there.  I met a young guy, who became my friend.  Vincent.  He lived in the same area of the city.  We would hang out at the bar, and soon started having lunch and hanging out.  He worked for a large restaurant in the heart of downtown.  His job gave the opportunity to move to Houston. They were opening a new restaurant there and they needed experienced staff.  So again, another dear friend left me and moved.  We still talk often.  I miss him like crazy.

Then came Ginger.  She and I met though a mutual friend.  At first, her intense energy made me a little crazy.  I try to be very low key, and Ginger is very high key!  She is like Miss Sunshine.  It was not a calm ‘hey how are you’…it was a exuberant and loud “hey there, I’m ginger. We were talking about you just the other day” followed by a hug.  It turned out that we already knew the same people.  With in a few months, I moved to Irving. The same city Ginger-Snapps was living.  That’s my pet name for her.  (There is a song and dance that go with that name but it’s best to keep that one to myself.)  Ginger was the mom of two teenagers.  She had been happily divorced a few years before we met.  Her kids are out on their own now.  And Ginger got married last year to a man she knew when they were kids. It was a sweet story of friendship and then love.  And guess what, yep. She moved back to her hometown of Shreveport.  It hurt to see another friend move away.  I was glad to see her last weekend.  She came to town to visit.  And just FYI. I blame the entire city of Shreveport for taking my G-snapps away. 

I have managed to continue living in DFW area for over 5 years by myself.  And good friends are hard to find.  And then yesterday, another good friend confided in me that he and is partner may move to Colorado in about 6 months.  You think I would be used to this.  But it still hurts.  My way of dealing with it, is not to worry about it today.  I’ll worry about it in 6 months.   Maybe I will call ahead for the best uhaul rates when ever I make a new friend.  It saves money to book ahead.