"what was she thinking?"

Every pageant girl tries to showcase them self as a performance artist in a way that will impress the judges and earn her the most points.  Most queens will pantomime the words to a song or a few sing live.  The queens that lip-sync are usually acting out the song and may include dance choreography or props to enhance the overall presentation.  I have seen some really elaborate sets, music mixes and choreographed routines in my years of pageants.  I have seen girls win big national pageants with the talents that produce. 

A few of my favorites:  I saw Alicia Markstone produce a fantastic Marry Poppins talent  complete with set, costumes and theatre quality acting.  Then when she came back on final night, Alicia added two small children to act the parts of the spoiled English children.  That was a great twist and it worked!

I also saw Dominique Sanchez win Miss Gay America with her disco theme talent.  My favorite part was the beginning.  She started in darkness to the song Flashlight and had her dancers waving lit flashlights in the dark.  It was a great effect. 

I also was amazed to see the elaborate grand stair case that Kris Kohl “built” on stage for her Hello Dolly talent the year she was Miss Oklahoma and competed at Miss Gay America. She had the look, the costumes and the dancers just like in movie.   Kris and I recently judged a state pageant, and I joked that “Kris knows props, hell, she will build you a stair case”

There were how ever, some really bad, horrible and oddly bad talents too. I have omitted the names  to protect the untalented. 

 I will never forget a young queen from Arkansas,  she was presenting an African inspired tribal dance routine.  She was bare legged and wearing a native costume.  She kneeled down infort of the judges table.  Alll you could see was her duct take had come loose from her crotch. And her boy nut was bulging out.  Poor child, I'm sure she was embarrassed. 

I also saw a girl at Miss America do a Sonny and Cher number.  They did ‘the beat goes on’.  She was Cher.  It was rather poor performed. At a point the music, she takes the guitar from Sonny and hits him over the head.  He falls down and rolls off the stage.  Then Cher reaches behind the curtain and the music changes to “I got you babe”.  She pulls out an Urn full of ashes!  She uses the Lid of the Urn to mimic the Sonny vocal part and she lipsyncs to the Cher role.  Then she pulls a bob wig out of the jar of ashes and flings ashes all over the stage.  It was tacky and tasteless.  Needless to say, she did not win. 

I also saw a queen to “I’m your private Dancer” She was dressed as Tina and sat in a chair.  Where was the Dancing?  I did not get it.     *inquisitive look, shake of head*

I also saw a girl do a Pooping talent number.  She had a toilet onstage and sat there, panties down and lip synced to “why does it hurt so bad” by Whitney Houston.  The music also had fart sounds added.  It was shocking and in poor taste.  Potty humor does not set well with national EOY judges.  And yes she got up and wiped afterward.  I was appalled.  Thank goodness she did not win.