Short Story

Once there was a boy who grew up to be a young man. He tried to fit in some where and after meeting some flamboyant friends. He finally found a place where he could excel.  He worked hard and pushed him self to try bigger and harder challenges.  Along the way he had many heart breaks and painful experiences.  He kept trying, and grew strong with each thing. He never quit. He learned to love other people and help when there was need. The older he got be found that many special people in his life were gone. But he worked hard to keep his heart open.  That boy was a man and his passion was clear to all he met. He was a beautiful soul.  And all he ever wanted was a place to belong and someone to share it with.

a picture to share.

FLYER FOR MISS MID AMERICA

Mattie Madison-Roundup Saloon Dallas

Natahsa Parson and Mattie Madison at Garlows

Febuary was not good.

It has been an interesting month.  To say the least! I have been busy at work. I love my job especially since I got a raise and a good yearly review.  The sit down discussion with my boss was very eye opening.  I didn’t realize how my boss perceived me.  He seem to think that my work is good and right now, he thinks I am ahead of schedule for some one who has been in the group only 11 months.  I felt comfortable enough to really talk to him about how I felt about issues that have gone on in our work group.  So it was a good review.  I have taken on new challenges and my boss recognized my efforts. I am about to celebrate four years at my company. I am excited about that.

I dated some one briefly.   It was a very bad situation. I finally realized that I was beating myself up trying to please him, when he was the one who was NOT good enough for me. I know exactly what I want and will not settle for less.  He has some other personal issues and I felt after dating, that he was a user who was just trying to play me.  Sadly, I almost fell for it. But I have moved on.  He turned out to be a very bad guy, with a criminal past. I have since cut all ties to him. Although he continues to harass me via text and FB.  I have blocked him and may change my number.  For now I ignore his calls and texts and hope he will just go away. If not my friends suggested a restraining order. I really don’t feel safe.   I had to really re think what I am looking for in a relationship.

 I have traveled out of town for a few shows and done more local shows as well. I am also preparing to travel to Nashville in a few weeks to compete in a Miss Mid-America pageant.  It is a regional pageant that sends girls directly to Miss America later this year!  I am very excited to try and think I will do well. Regardless of how I place, it will be a great experience.  I decided months ago to follow my own dreams!  That is what I am doing.

 I finally did my taxes and got the money back. But them was face with major car problems.  So there goes quite a bit of that money.  I intended on upgrading, but have not yet found a car I want and can afford. So I am waiting a while longer.  Its a commitment I don’t really want to go into lightly.  After all I have not had a car payment in over 3 years.  Plus my car is running so good now after being in the shop that I am tempted to keep it!  Spending 700$ in repairs will make you think.  Plus like I said it’s running so smooth now. (Just some thing to think about). They fixed a water pump fitting that was leaking water. My car got a tune-up, new spark plugs and wires, fix vacuum leak, and replaced old fuel regulator.  (Well actually they replaced twice. The first one was faulty and sprayed gas after only driving about 30 miles.) I was in a rental car for a week.  But today she is good.  Its like having a new car again. I just renewed the tags and registration too.  So its good for another year.  I also did some work myself.  I popped out the dent in the bumper that some bitch with no insurance left about two months ago.  It looks scuffed, but much better now that it is not concave. I also replace a bulb that was out. Minor work compared to the big money I dropped at the repair shop.  
I have not written and I’m glad I did today.  As I move into a new month, I am in a better place.  I have faced several challenges and keep smiling and moving forward. 
 I am hosting a show this weekend for charity.  March is turn –about month locally.  The girls become “bois” and the boys become “gurls”….it all in good fun. In fact I’m making a gown for a friend who only does drag once a year.  He is competing for Miss Turn-about pageant.  I do not do turn about!  I have never performed as a DUDE!  “Mattie” is the performer, Tomas is just the mastermind who pushes her to excel.  I would be too embarrassed to do it.  I wouldn’t know how to act. So I will enjoy just hosting. 

 

pennies from heaven

I have done this before. This time I will use three pennies.

When ever I see a penny on the ground I pick it up. They are pennies from heaven.  I dont care about the luck they bring.  It is way of remembering my loved ones.  It is my own superstititon: it means some one is thinking about me.  Here is the first thing that came to my mind when I pulled pennies from my pocket today. Each penny is a different year.  It  gave me an excuse to share something about myself.

1974- I was born.  I don’t remember it. I cried because it was scary. And swore I was never going back in there. ( my mom used to hated that joke)

1995-  I was two year in college, but quit.  I had trouble fitting in. I found some gay friends who changed my life forever.  I swore I would never hide who I was again.

2004-  I was in a good relationship we got a new dog. I had a good job.  Things were going well.   It was a good year. 

sad news

My weekend plans were over shadowed by the passing of my two uncles.  Each will be missed and loved forever.     My sympathy goes out to all my cousins at the loss of their dad’s.  This news makes me miss my parents all over again. The arrangements are pending for each and I will be traveling out of town to the funerals in the next few days.  They died just days apart in different cities. 

RIP : Paul Flores.  My uncle.  My dad’s youngest brother.  Passed away on Friday Jan 18^th. 

RIP: Paul Ozuna.  My Uncle who was married to my late Aunt. ( My Dad’s sister)  Passed away on Sunday Jan 20^th.

Chocolate

Some times I write things down but do not post them in my blog. It helps me just to know that I have written it down and removed it from my mind.  It gives me peace: a sense of relief and well being.   I have heard it said that chocolate has chemical in it that releases a sense of well being as well.  Interesting.  I like chocolate especially in a peanut butter cup.   Even though chocolate is regularly eaten for pleasure, there are health effects as well.  Cocoa or dark chocolate may positively affect the circulatory system.  Other possible effects include anticancer, brain stimulator, and cough preventer.  An aphrodisiac effect is yet unproven, but death my chocolate cake sounds good too.  A BBC report indicated that melting chocolate in one's mouth produced an increase in brain activity.  The human heart rate becomes more intense than that associated with passionate kissing!. Really!  Also the feeling lasted four times as long after the activity had ended.  I feel that way about writing.  But I am not making out with my computer just to measure the lasting effects.

I get pleasure from writing.  It is important to my sense of self and understanding of myself as a person.  You don’t have to be the best at something to enjoy the passion of doing it.  These are most of the times my thoughts and feelings.  It is my way of venting and releasing my thoughts.   Some times they are letters to my self.  I can tell myself anything.  Sharing those thoughts with the world is not so easy.  Maybe I could increase my enjoyment by eating chocolate while writing. There is a sweet thought! 

thoughts

Well in the past six years.  I have not talked to any of GW’s family.  They had my number and address.  They did not bother to ask how I was after his death. That hurt.   I stopped to see his sister once in Bowie where he was from.  I was on my way the cemetery; I was hoping she might want to go with me.  She didn’t. She was friendly and we talked for a while.   I never saw her again after that. 

 I met with Bob and Michael once.  About two month after his death.  Bob is GW brother; and Michael is his partner of about 15 years.  GW died in September.  Our meeting before Christmas. I remeber the christmas lights.  We met at a local bar in Dallas. It was called the Hideaway. I’m not sure it is even still open.  It was not my usual place.  They ( Bob and Michael)  picked the place to meet.  We sat in the front bar area and ordered a few drink and talked.  It was a bit strained.  They had never warmed up to me, to say the least. Actually they didn't like me at all.  And I knew it. But the point of the meeting was to finalize some issues surrounding GW passing.  I had some family things that they wanted.  We also discussed the funeral and how much we missed him. Bob, GW’s older brother, shared childhood memories.  He was a teenager when GW was born. So he remembered a lot.  GW was an ornery kid.  He would often be punished for being so pig headed, that is what Bob said.  It was not hard to imagine. I had gotten to know him very well during our life together.  He was a very independent man.  He had his own way of doing things.  GW also enjoyed music and at one point played the piano and organ. He also played trombone in the local high school band.  GW once told me that he was not very good, but it was fun.  In small towns, kids join organizations because there is not much else to do.  I understood that.

Bob, Michael and I went out the patio with our drinks.   It was an open courtyard area.  We wandered into the small building at the far end of the property.  It had been converted into another game room with pool and dart boards and a full service bar inside. There were several guys sitting and watching the large TV over the bar.   I drank a beer, they drank martinis.  I had just lost my partner and best friend.  Being there and listening to the stories really got to me.  I tried to fight back my tears.  I had brought along several family photos.  Also I gave them his college ring, several pieces of jewelry and rare coins GW had acquired. 

Many months before, GW had invited his family over to our place for an afternoon.  He knew he was going to die and found comfort in them all being together in one place.  They obviously loved him.  So did I.  He talked privately with them about his wishes.  He had already told me what to do, whom to call and how to handle things on his behalf.  GW gave them things that were special to him.  These included keep sakes and photo albums.  He even gave them art work and his pieces from his personal antique collection.   It made him feel good to give things to his loved ones. Maybe that would bring them comfort upon his death.  They would have something that once belonged to him. 

 He had a good day. Everyone left. It was just him and I.  I made dinner, and we talked.  He told me that after he passed, he wanted me to move on with my life. There were many tears.  Don’t grieve too long he said.  He tried to flatter me by saying I would find a new man in a month.  I didn’t really want to hear it.  He told me to not invite his family over after he died. I was not sure why. He explained that they might take things from me.  He also advised me that I should move after he died.  He said he had given them everything he wanted to have. The rest of his belongings were mine.  He had alrady transferred his money into my account  for funeral expenses.   He told me to sell his car.  I eventually did.

Bob and Michael never liked me. I remember,  I was nervous the first time I was introduced to them.  GW had told them about me. I was the new love of his life.  They were happy to know he had found some one new.  They invited us to come to Dallas for the weekend.  It was not a very good visit.  The always looked down on me for being Mexican. They always thought GW could have done better.  It hurt and I after a few years of strained family gatherings. I stopped going.  GW didn’t like it, but he dealt with it.  He wanted me there.  But why would I want to be where I was not really welcome.   Once they had invited us to a high priced steak house.  They were both successful guys and enjoyed spending money.  GW and I lived on a budget because he was in grad school and only I was working.  It would have been more affordable to enjoy a meal with a reasonable cost.   But no, they insisted we all dine at a fancy restaurant. The conversation was good.   I mostly sat there, not really engaging.  We  splurged on our dinner.  Even thought it was not our way.  My night was ruined when Bob and Michael finished off two bottle of wine between them and his brother knocked his water goblet over and it poured into my lap.  I was wet, embarrassed and very pissed.  I came back the table after trying to dry my crotch in the hand dryer of the men’s room.  I politely excused my self from the group;   I whispered to GW that I would be in the car.  I was in tears as soon as the car door slammed.   Our group finished the meal without me.   GW was kind enough to apologize for the accident his brother caused and he had brought the remainder of my dinner home for me in a hinged Styrofoam container.  He told me his brother felt bad, but I could not be consoled.  I did not go to anymore dinner with his Brother Bob and Michael  again.  I even skipped the Christmas party I skipped.  I told GW to have a great time.  He went, but didn’t talk about it. He was the one they invited anyway; I was just the ‘plus one guest’.  At least that is how I always felt. 

The things I gave Bob and Michael where things I wanted them to have after he died.  They said thank you.  And we hugged be fore leaving.  As gay men, I thought may I might be able to lean on them.  But no, that did not happen. I did not see them again.    I sent them a letter a few months later.  I gave them an update about where I had moved, and how my job was going.  I was alive, but not back to living.  It would be a long time for that to happen.  My grief was almost unbearable, but I faced it alone.  It hurt that they did not ask how I was doing.  They did not call.  The letter I sent included a copy of GW’s death certificate, and information about the head stone that was to be placed.  I got no response.  The head stone was the last thing that I would do for him, so he would not be forgotten. 

Today I wrote a letter and included in a large envelope of more family photos that i came across when I moved again recently.  I only keep the photos from our life together. His personal family photos may be better appreciated by Bob and his sister.  I don't think they still realize what a special person GW was.  He was a great man, who loved me until the end. I was the person who cared for him at the end of illness by myslef.  I was more than a "plus one"  I was his partner.  I was sad to let him go when he passed.  But it was worth it to know he shared his life with me. Sadly,  I am certain that they won't respond or even say thank you.

Pet Hotel?

I was passing near the airport on my way home last week.  There is a new intersection with new that is almost completed new construction.  I noticed they have finally added the new signs around the intersection. One sign was for a Pet Hotel that is near by.  I first thought about my dog.  She has no money or a credit card.  How could she stay at a pet hotel?   I laughed to my self.  The closest we ever got was when we snuck the dog in the motel 6 in Longview.  That story made me laugh again out loud. 

I need to make this

This weeks weather should be cold but clear.  Highs in he 40's all week.  It would be perfect time to cook this receipe submitted my a freind named John. Plus after a stressful day, a sip of wine with dinner would be a pleasure.(Thanks John!)

Here you go everyone relax and enjoy!

John’s Italian Sausage and Green Beans

This dish is primarily a side dish, and has a little zing, but not too spicy.

The following ingredients will make a large pot, but can reduced.

Ingredients:

1 package of Bob Evan’s (or other) Italian sausage

1 small onion

4 large cans of Allen’s Italian Green Beans

2 small cans of diced tomatoes (I like the ones that have the green onions and garlic)

1 small can of tomato sauce

2 cans of chicken broth

2 cups red wine.....VERY IMPORTANT AFTER A STRESSFUL DAY!

Steps:

• In a skillet, fry the sausage until very brown....open the wine.
• Caramelize the onions with the sausage...grab a wine glass.
• Drain the grease
• In a very large pot, mix all the above ingredients, except the wine
• Pour one cup of wine into the mixture
• Pour the other cup into a glass and drink!
• Bring the mixture to a boil...sip your wine.
• Salt and pepper to taste....clear your palate with another drink of wine. 
• Cook for about an hour to reduce the liquid....while sipping your wine!
• Simmer then  serve your Sausage and Green Beans....enjoy another glass of wine if you like.

All and any ingredients are optional (except the wine)!

PS:  This would be awesome with some cornbread. YUM.

I moved! but not far.

Today is a rainy day, but I am happy to be at work.  I have not posted lately due to so many activities in my life.  My Christmas was quiet. I moved just day after Christmas, so I used that as an excuse to skip the holiday. My sister from New Mexico came for a visit and it was nice to see her again. The last time she came was when I was sick in the hospital.  She has also been good about calling me often to check on me.  She has more than once helped me with money too.  She is one of my many angels in my life.  We have had a sorted relationship in the past but it was good to see her.  I was also able to pass along some used household items to her. These included dishes, kitchen wares, and some other things that have been boxed up since the last time I moved in 2009.  I seem to always have two of everything.  So I give it away, clear out the clutter and kiss it good bye. 

Moving was a chore. That is why I hate doing it so much.  My favorite weather man had predicted rain and cold weather right around Christmas and I was concerned about how this would affect my move.  I imagined moving in the snow and freezing rain.  I tried to stay on top of the latest weather reports.  Cold. That is what I woke up to.  I had only slept about four hours the night before trying to get every thing ready to move.  I also had to try and get some friends because my sister  is not going to be able to drive from OKC to help. I had tried to pack everything and leave only the essentials handy.  All of the clothes, towels, blankets and  soft items would just be  packed in to large contractor bags.  It would mean fewer boxes.  We were not moving that far anyways, just three buildings away. 

I rented a ten foot truck for a day.  It was affordable, only about fifty bucks.  We could make several trips and the mileage would be minimal.   I think I drove less than ten miles before returning the truck.  Once everything was moved, my plan was to work on the old apartment:  cleaning and fixing any small damage.  I picked up the truck at 8 am. We loaded our first load. All of the drag and sewing boxes would go first. We could carry them easily and stack them.  Each one was labeled wigs, fabrics, crafts, and such.  I always joke that if Joann runs out of fabric, she should call me for more. I have a mini fabric warehouse.   It was very cold in the morning but there was no precipitation in sight.  My friends wouldn’t be able to come until after noon.  Wendy, my  sister and I moved two loads our selves and left the big furniture until our friends showed up.  After a few more trips, we were done.  That sounds easier than it really was.  We managed to move everything in one day!   I was so thankful to my friends Kelly and Trish for the help.  You never know how much stuff you have until you have to pack it up and move it.    I went back the next day to clean and make repairs.  I patched the nail holes and touched up the paint.  I also scrubbed the bathroom, and kitchen including the oven.  Easy off/... my ass.  My hands were so sore from scrubbing.  I also replaced two tiles that were broken and then the final thing would be to vacuum and run the carpet cleaner.  I had lived on the carpets for four years, but still it was important to try and make them look and smell good.  I suspect the carpets will be replaced due to condition and age.  We cleaned them good and so I would not have to pay cleaning costs.  It looked so good in there, I could have moved back in. 

I like my new apartment.  I am settling in nicely.  I have a stack of boxes in every room, but I don’t care.  I have more room plus master bathroom.  That is so great in the morning to shower, primp and dress with out crossing the hall in a towel.  I also like not having walking foot traffic out side my window.  My old place was well traveled between the buildings. I couldn’t open the blinds because people would be able to look in.  It’s the little things that I enjoy.  It is slowly becomeing my new home.

HAPPY NEW YEARS

HAPPY NEW YEAR! 2013 IS HERE! 

Fingers crossed.

I will now start planning my next pageant season.  I am really thinking I will jump into a regional and not wait until Miss Gay Texas rolls around.   I don’t want to wait until the end of the season to be noticed by the America system. Even if I dont place, they will notice me.  I want to start my PR work early.    I will need to plan carefully.   Do I have enough time?  Can I pull together the money for the national pageant? Not everyone will achive Miss Gay America, but everyone has the oppurtunity to try. You are only a failure if you don't try.   I know where I have been and where I want to be. I want to prove to myself that I can make top ten at MGA. Fingers crossed.

this just popped in my head

We used to live in this two story house.  It seemed large to a little kid.  The house was large, but very old.  I think I may have talked about it before.  We lived there until I was in first grade then we moved across town.  The old house was falling apart, but because my parents were poor, we called it home and tried to make the best of it.  When you are a kid, you really don’t know any different.  You assume that that is just the way things are.  It does not bother you that the sink in the bathroom does not work, that you don’t have hot water coming out of the faucet and that mama got out the big pots to boil water on the stove on bath night.  We didn’t have a phone, no cable.  In the summer we had box fans in the windows and sometimes faced them out ward to pull the hot air out of the house.  The old house was where we lived when my brother and older sister started school.  Like most young kids, my sister was the first to get involved in after school activities.  She was a member of Campfire.  Camp Fire USA, originally Camp Fire Girls of America, is a nationwide American youth organization that began in 1910. Its programs emphasize camping and other outdoor activities for youth. Camp Fire's programs, including small group experiences, after-school programs, camping and environmental education, child care and service learning, build confidence in younger children and provide hands-on, youth driven leadership experiences for older youth. They also sold candy.  I am not sure if they still do, but I remember my sister getting dressed up in her uniform and selling boxes of it.  My mom would make her practice her “lines”. I guess if kids knew what to say they would be able to sell more candy.  My mom would close the bed room door. My sister would pretend she was at a neighbor’s door and give her sales speech while my mom would play the role of  the neighbor /sales victim.  They would try answering the door several times and with different scenarios.  For instance, if the customer said ‘I’m sorry I don’t eat candy’, my sister was taught to say, “perhaps you should purchase some to give to your grandchildren. Candy make a nice gift”  It is funny what you remember from child hood.  It was just something silly I remember. 

Packing and upcoming move.

I wrote this quickly and as usual, I am sure ther are alot of spelling and grammer mistakes:  But here you go world.....

This has been the longest week ever.  I have not so busy at work. But the days seemed to drag by slowly.  I have been tired a lot and not too sure about my upcoming move. I have been packing slowly will do more on saturday  and sunday.  I have to pack all my stuff up and be ready to move in a few weeks.  Just days after Christmas. I am sorting, cleaning and fixing things as I go.  It is heard to believe that I still have so much stuff even after giving away things every time I move.  I have two of every thing it seems.  That is an ok thing , if it were money. There is never enough of that to go around.  In fact I have toyed with the idea of selling some of my antiques on ebay.  I have pottery collection, lead crystal, china, and antiques all that seem to collect duct. I have a saying; if you don’t need it you have to kiss it and say good bye to it. That may mean clearing out the clutter, selling unwanted items or just giving things away. I have so many treasures that I inherited from GW.  But maybe it is time to down size.  I don’t like moving.  I guess that explains why I have been in the same apartment for four years.  It is time for some fresh paint and a new start for 2013.  I always say I have two of everything and I probably do.  I have my coat closet with boxes from the last time I moved.  They will get moved from one closet to the other. 

There are some positive notes to this move.  It is only a short local move.  I am staying in Irving.  So I should be able to move the big stuff in one day. Plus I have freinds who will help me. That should cut down on the moving expense.  Also I am moving into a bigger apartment.   I have several living room pieces including two large book shelves, sectional sofa, recliner and large coffee table. Man, I have a lot of stuff.  Plus bed room furniture and Washer and dryer.  And closet full of drag, fabrics, and craft supplies.  I can feel the stress coming on again.  Maybe I should not think about it. 
I will also be down sizing my fabrics and crafts.  Many times I buy inexpensive crafts, trims and fabrics and them store them until I have a creative idea for them. Very seldom do I buy a fabric with a true idea of what it will become. I create as I go.  Also I try not to waste anything.  Large scraps can always be paired with solids and make a whole new garment.  I joke and say to the girls in the show" wht, you like this old peice of scraps" . They always laugh, but scraps keep my outfits unique and eyecatching. This challenges my creativity and sewing skill.  I usually let the project create itself.  The design is some times dictated by the availability of materials.  For example, yellow.  I have enough fabric for a yellow gown.  I may also have a yard of orange as accent color.  I then pull out all my trims that go with yellow.  Such as stones, appliqués, beads, trims.  And then try to see what I can do with them.  I also like to stone in three colors.  No one likes yellow stones on yellow fabric.  So I mix in yellow, orange and pink.  The color pairing are just ones I think look good together. I seem to have an eye for color combinations. 

Here are some of my fav color combinations.  Lime green and gray, brown and pink, orange and navy, purple and red, brown and orange, green and navy, white and lavender….and many more that pop into my head.  I love color, but ironically the last two dresses I’ve made were plain black.  

Sewing and show

dancing my ass off at Garlows Toys for Tots show

Well I have returned back to doing shows.  The last few shows have been good. I did one two weeks ago locally.  I made a new costume, 31 yards of fringe.  I was very pleased with how it turned out. Then at the show I danced my ass off.  Plus we had a great crowd!  I feel stronger and more confident that things are headed in the right direction. 

Being sick for the last few months has been very scary for me and my friends/ family.  It seemed that my life had become nothing but work, doctor appointments, tests and physical limitations.  Illness has been difficult for me mentally too.  I was weak.  I was trying to put on a brave face.  I didn’t like being dependant on others.  I didn’t want to be a burden.  Now I am improving and feel mentally better too.  I had the weight of the world on my shoulders, how was I going to pay all these bills, plus work and visit the different doctors.  I had cried way too many times over the last few months.  The support of friends and family has been amazing.  I really could not do anything, but take it one day/challenge at a time.  I had gone back to working full time right after getting out of the hospital.  But honestly, I was not well.  I had no choice.  Money pays the bills.  So every day, I struggled to be there, be productive and just earn a living.  I had also been helped by my family and friends with groceries and gas money when I needed it.  These small gifts really helped me get by as I recovered.  They also let me know that other cared about my well being.  I returned to the Lung specialist and he was pleased with my progress.  I have some scarring in my lungs, but overall my pneumonia is healed.  My oxygen level are 99%. I was happy with his results. I don’t have to go back to him anymore.  I just go to my regular doctor now.  (one less  doctor to see!)

I know that friends who faced similar health issues understand.  I have another friend who was diagnosed with diabetes and she worries about being able to financially afford to take care of herself.  I just recently got received the hospital bill. It was over $28,000 for my six day stay in the hospital.  My insurance paid the majority but there is still part that needs to be paid.  I guess it is like the old saying ‘you can’t get blood from a turnip’.  I will pay what I can and try not to stress about the balance that will carry over every month.  I will just paying what I can. 

  I am more of my old self than in recent months.  I traveled out of town this last weekend and had a great show.  I got to see some of my friends and help out a great charity organization.  We raised money for Toys for Tots.  There are many groups that do this kind of fund raising.  Many children will enjoy a brighter Christmas.  I was just glad to help and be apart of the effort again this year. It was a lot of fun and I enjoyed shopping for the kids too.  We raised 4700 in cash, a donor gave 2200 in new bicycles, and another donated about $500 worth of new helmets to go with them.  The total raised was about 7000$ total!  That felt awesome to be a part of it! 

Singing at the Toys for Tots Show at Garlows

Toys for Tots shopping trip the morning after the fundraiser. Our group donated 4700$ in toys! I was so proud.  

stars and moonlight

Once when I was in maybe 7^th grade, the school took us on a night time field trip.  It was necessary to go at night so we could see the stars.  We were learning about astronomy in science class.  The Principal was a amateur star gazer with a personal telescope.  It was neat to see the star that had hovered over my head every night of my life. I had never really looked at them.   Each star has a unique place in the night sky.  Some shine brighter but each is special.  There used to be advertising on TV infomercials that you could call and sign up to name a star.  You would name a star and get a certificate claiming the right o name it all for a small fee. Back then, the most common price for anything you saw on TV was $19.95.  It was an evening filed trip that required all the students, teachers and parents meeting at the local Jr. High school. Then we all boarded a bus and travel about 5 miles out of town.  There was an oil well and storage tank facility on the outskirts of town.  Like most oil producers in the area, these storage tanks located just off the main highway.  Large trucks can easily access them and pump oil and water that is used in producing wells.  These large flat areas made a perfect spot for parking a bus full of kids and setting up a telescope in the open cleared area.  We would be shielded from the lights of the local town by the small hills that surrounded that side of town.  The stars and moon light were bright enough to light the area, even at night.  It only took a minute for our eyes to adjust to the dark.  The human eye is a great thing; it allows you to see more clearly even in low light.  We talked about the role of the universe and how stars are formed. We also had a general over view of what we had learned in class.  We each took turns view different constellations and clusters in the night sky.  We observed the Milky Way and the North Star.   It was a fun and different kind of field trip.  I’m sure I can’t remember everything I learned but I do remember the fact that learning was fun. Every time I look up at the stars I remember that field trip.  You don’t see many stars in the Dallas area, it would be nice to travel to a secluded area to watch the stars and enjoy the moonlight.

school picture

This was too cute not to share.  My sister in OKC sent me this.   I have not seen it in maybe 25 years.  My mom had picutres from us kids in school, but so many are gone now.  A girl I went to school with posted this on FB.  She and I were in the same class, but are not friends now. My sister said there are more out there, I will see what else turns up and add them.

But there I am in 1st grade.

feeling better

I am feeling so much better today. I was able to walk all the way in to work, with out bunny –hopping through the lobby.  In previous days, I would get so winded that I would walk from the car to the front door at work and sit to catch my breath.  Then I would walk from the lobby to the elevator. I would get off the elevator and sit in the chairs near by.  Then once I caught my breath again, I would continue to my work department.  These shorter trips would help me “catch-up” and make it to my desk.  Pneumonia made me weak for several weeks.  My doctor appointment yesterday was a good one.  My weight is back up. My lungs are healing and ox levels are up.  I am also very pleased with my new doctor.  I and have access to her and her office staff 24hrs via the internet portal they have set up.  How cool is that. Work is going well; my boss is allowing me to flex my hours in order to go to my appointments.  That means is I take and hour on off, I can stay late on another day to make up for it.  My doctor encouraged me to start walking like I was before.  This will build me muscles and stamina.  Things are looking up.

baseball

I played little league baseball.  I was not very good at it.  My mom signed me and brother up.  It was pretty much free for any of the local kids in town. I think there was a small fee and the uniforms were sponsored by local businesses. It was the early eighties.  We had a few girls who played too but that was not common.  It was less diversified than it would be today.  In fact the girl who played in my age group is now an adult lesbian. I remember she was one of the best players. Our team was the Royals.   We even had a female coach. Her name was Midge. Her son was on our team too.  Midge was not very pretty, if fact she was kind rough around the edges to say the least. When Midge talked, you listened. Or she would tell your mom.  She understood the game and liked kids. Midge made the game fun even the fat kid in far right field.  Yep that was me.  I remember sitting in the grass picking dandelions.  Not much action ever happens in far right field.  Most players are right handed and hit the ball to the left field. That is where the action was.  I saw more action from the coach’s practice hits than I ever did in a real game. Midge would holler “look alive out there”.  That meant get ready, get off your butt and I’m gonna hit one in your direction.  She would hit one to me and I would have to catch it, or chase it.  She also taught us the game.  Not that I am an expert.  But some times I understand what going on if I see a game on TV. 

We had practice four evening a week.  There is a baseball field on the west side of town.  It was called Biggs Field.  I don’t know who “Biggs” was, but the ball park was pretty small. It was nothing fancy. Games were played on the main field.  Practices took place other the dirt ball fields behind the main field. Some teams practiced at empty lots around town due to limited access.  The main field was surrounded by chain link fence.  It had bleachers, cinder block dugouts, and a concession stand that served from both sides and sat right behind home plate.  The mom’s who worked the concession stand always bragged that they had the best seats in town.  They could practically look over the umpires should and make the call themselves. Parents would fill the stands all season, every Saturday.  The games were pretty much back to back.  Starting with the youngest kids in the morning and carried on in to the afternoon.  Then in the evening, the older teenagers played. By this time they had to the turn on the lights because the sun was going down. Some times parents would sit in their cars and watch the games.  My mom said it was so they could drink and smoke cigarettes.  That was one thing adults were not allowed to do in the stands.  After all, this was a family sport. They would park around the perimeter of the field and pull right up to the fence.  The only draw back was getting your windshield broken by a foul ball.  I remember it happened to Ida Livingston’s van.  She was very unhappy.  She was a local mom, who son played ball with the teenage teams.  I remember too, if you caught a foul ball, you got a free snow cone. 

I think our team was probably average.  We finished the season.  We didn’t get the big trophies like the top team did.  But it was a positive experience.  I got me involved with my peers and my mom got a lot of dandelion bouquets that summer.

Fire up the sewing machine.

I guess I will make s list of thing I need to work on.  Since I have not booked any shows, I can use d my down time to do some sewing.

I need to sew a dress for Lipps LaRue of Dallas.  She has already pre-paid for a couple of dresses.  She was kind enough to help me by paying up front. Now it is time for me to deliver some things amazing for her.  I had wanted to get started on this a few weeks ago, but that was when I was sick.  Now that I have the time. This should me be my number one project.  She is interested in something similar to Jacquelyn Chatelaine’s “peacock color” dress. I posted picture of it previously.  She loved the flowing over skirt and  sparkle.  I start brain storming this weekend at home. 

I need too also look and see who else I have put off.  Maybe I can ask around and see who needs some costumes/dresses made.   That would generate some cash if I get a few orders.  Or maybe I will sell of the ones I recently made for myself.  I will make a few calls.