Lesson learned

I feel that some day I will win Miss Gay America pageant.  I try to follow the prelims every year and have seen many girls compete. I know I have what it takes to compete on that high level.   I made my first appearance at Miss Gay America 2003.  I was not a contestant, but a back up dancer for a friend.   It was a true test of out friendship.  I will call her "Birdie", I dont wish to tell you her reall name.  She and I choreographed a solid routine for a Cabaret production number.  I made everyone’s costumes for the talent.  We built props and painted and glittered until it was all ready to go.  Then what happened the day we left for Little Rock Arkansas.  It rained!  It was supposed to be sunny week in October.  It would have been different if it were April.  Birdie had made arrangements with another friend to carry her props in the back of his truck.  Yes, the props we built got soaked.  We got to Little Rock and all we could do was try to salvage and rebuild the darn things.  Several girls had the same issue. 'Birdie' was nervous,  it was her first time competing on a national level.  I was nervous too.  It was my second.  I had competed at National Entertainer of the Year pageant in 2002.   I knew if things did not go well my friend would blame me.  We did a good job during talent, but she was not satisfied because she did not reach her goal.  She did not make the top ten.   And who got the blame?. Yes, me.   All I heard was excuses from her. “the props looked bad, the costumes were not colorful enough, and how I got blamed for hair? I will never know.  I didn’t style it.  She would not except blame.  I was done taking her crap.  That night of finals, I called home to speak to my husband.  I was very upset.  It was hard to support a friend who takes advantage of you and then blames you for her overall poor placement.  I had put every thing into helping her.  I had paid my own way to be there with her for a week in Little Rock.  And I never got a ‘Thank You’ from her.  I think we did a good job that year.  Birdie just could not see it.  She was just a spoiled, selfish person who didn’t appreciate what I and others did for her.  There was no heart in what she presented at Miss America and the judges could see right through her.  A pretty gown and a good talent is not enough to be the winner on final night competition.  You have to also be a genuine person underneath all that.  She never understood that point.  Our friendship ended when we got back home.  I heard the following year that she had placed runner-up at another pageant.  Birdie was so bitter; she threw her plaque on the stage floor and cussed as she stormed off stage.  She got banned from the system. 

I know that there are more good things in store for me.  I hope that one will be, to capture Miss gay America.  I’m not too old yet. I have the talent, and I know what it takes to do it.  My husband told me not to waste time on people who do not matter.  I should have been doing all that work for my own pageant.  I did learn a lot for that experience in 2003.  The best one is that I have the skills to build props,  sew costumes and over come adversity.  Now it is up to me to put those things to work for me.