Happy new year

I want to wish everyone a Happy new Year.  I will try to blog this weekend. Lets make 2012 the best year ever!!

Christmas Eve

Every Christmas Eve is my traditional movie marathon.  I prepare a feast of appetizers and finger foods and pull out all the drag movies I own. I have quite a few.  They could be movies about drag, or anything with some in drag (like some one playing a character).   I started this tradition about 10 years ago.  There were no children in the house, so it would be silly just to stay up late and wait for Santa.  It would be a more grown up way to celebrate Christmas Eve.   So I thought it would be fun just to stay at home  and make a mini buffet and “veg” on the couch.  It was also an excuse to eat anything you want.  Plus it be fun preparing the meal, picking out the movie line up and generally just enjoy an evening at home.  I have even enjoyed a cocktail or two.  It’s not like I had to drive anywhere.  This year was a little different.  I enjoyed it alone.  I mean that in a not-so-sad way.  I had a good time.  My sisters had plans to come down for New Years, so it made no sense to spend money on a trip to Oklahoma when I knew I would see them next week.  So in my usual way, I did some shopping, planed a menu, and picked out the movies.  The whole time the dogs were in the kitchen with me. I talk to them like they are people.  They were probably waiting for a snack to fall from the counter.  I have to admit, I may have let a couple of meat balls land in their bowl.  My little doggies love when I do that. I like spoiling them.  They may just be dogs, but they are my family.

I enjoyed the food and movies. I fell asleep on the couch and stumbled to my room about midnight.   It was a quiet night at home. 

Happy Holidays

I am not the type to get all Christmas Crazy. No dramatic decorations. No fancy gifts. But I want to wish my friends, both new and old a Happy and Safe Holiday!
 I have tried to help people this year, improve my life, let go and move on, tell others how much they mean to me, and remember those loved ones who are no longer living.   That is how I am celebrating christmas. It is small but meaningful. Those who know me, understand that. 

Siempre en mi corazon.  -Tomas

Electra

This past weekend I was relaxing after my holiday party. I had fun, but I only one day off. So I watched movies and kept up with my events planner on Face Book.  I see a post from my sister, Anita.  Anita lives in Oklahoma and because we are family, her posts are important.  She posted about how she was going to ELECTRA.  I was caught by surprise.  Electra is the town I grew up in. It is 30 miles NW of Wichita Falls along HWY 287.  The population is probably about 3000 people.  My first question was, why would you go there?  She has not been there in 8 years and for me even longer.  I have such a strong resentment for that town. I have lost all ties to the town.   It is reminder of how poor we were. It is a reminder of our parents who are now dead. They were both cremated and do not rest there.  The house we lived in is now torn down, and only a vacant lot and a few trees remain.  I see it as a sad place. 

Electra was once a much bigger city. At one point it was twice the size. Now it is small and fading.  Electra is a city in Wichita County. Electra claims the title of Pump Jack Capital of Texas, a title made official by the state in 2004 and has celebrated an annual Pump Jack Festival since 2002. A pumpjack is the above ground drive for a reciprocating piston pump in an oil well. It is used to mechanically lift oil liquid out of the well if there is not enough bottom hole pressure for the liquid to flow all the way to the surface. The arrangement is commonly used for onshore wells producing little oil. Pumpjacks are common in oil-rich areas.  I remember thinking that they looked like bucking horses.  Moving up and down, pumping oil from the ground.  My dad worked in the oil field. In 1936, Electra had well over 6,000 residents, by the 1960s the population had decreased to a bit over 5,000. The Dallas-Fort Worth metropolitan area was growing and many people moved away. By 2000, Electra's population dropped to just over 3,000.

Daniel Waggoner started a ranch in present-day Electra in 1852. Then the railwroad was built. Waggoner's son, W.T. Waggoner, successfully lobbied railroad executives to build a railroad station at the site. By this time, the Waggoner ranch covered a half-million acres. Up until this time, the town was called Waggoner, but following the building of the station and a post office in 1889, it was dubbed Beaver Switch, after the nearby Beaver Creek. The opening of 56,000 acres (230 km²) of land north of the railroad station brought more farmers to the area. The town was renamed again in 1907, this time after Waggoner's daughter Electra. In 1911, the Electra ISD was created.

Water can be scarce in this region of Texas, so Waggoner started drilling for water for the towns new residents. Most of these drilling sites were befouled by crude oil, which made the water unfit for drinking. Three years later, a developer from Fort Worth named Solomon Williams bought the land from Waggoner. Sooner thereafter, he annexed nearby land, subdivided the land, and placed advertisements in national media trying to increase the population. His efforts were successful, and the town grew from a population of 500 to 1,000 between 1907 and 1910. It was not uncommon to see Pumpjack operating in town.  The neighborhoods grew up around them.  A fateful day in Electra's history was April 1, 1911, when the Clayco gusher successfully drilled for oil. Word spread quickly and the population increased fourfold over a period of months. Fortunately there was already some infrastructure built in the town to handle the new residents. Oil was this town’s glory and its demise. 

I remember when the Electra Tiger won the state Championship in 1985.  That was a big deal. Football in Texas has always held important status.  If you did not play football, you were not important.   No one cared that other state level students have since come and gone. Students like me.   I was a member of the all state band and competed at the state level Solo contest my junior and senior years.  But there is no sign in front of the school showing my accomplishments.   The only one is the one honoring the 1985 football team.  But a music scholarship was my ticket out of that town.

So why did Anita want to go back there?  I had a ton of questions. She said she wanted to show her kids.  They have always lived in a big city.  Interesting, I thought.  But was it worth it?  She said yes, it was a last minute day trip. She said some things are different and some were still the same.  That sounds about right.  I saw some pictures she took.  Yes, it looked the same.  It was odd to see the school where we graduated. It looked so small.  Also she drove by the company our dad used to work for.  She also told me that she did not see anyone she knew.  I honestly figured, she might see several people. We used to know everyone in town.  I grew up there and left when I was 20. After my Mom and Dad passed there was nothing to go back for.  The house was sold, I assume my oldest sister took what ever was left in the house.  She had a way of getting what ever she wanted.  All I have are some old photographs and memories.

 I worked hard to break free from that town.  To me, small towns are a trap.  If you don’t have a way out, you could be stuck there for life.  The best you could hope for is a job at the local plant or work for the school system.   I know some old classmates, are still there.  Or still in the close area.  They are living the same small existence that their parents lived.  For them it is enough.  I don’t think I could have ever stayed there and been happy.  I had thought about maybe one year going to the Homecoming football game. But I changed my mind. Also I did not attend out 10 year reunion. And next year in a couple will be our 20^th class reunion.  I don’t think I will go to that one either.  My destiny was out there in the world.  And I left to go find it. Electra is a distant memory that returns to haunt me every so often.   

hog nuts

Friday night was a cocktail party thrown by some new friends in Carrollton, just north of Dallas. It had been years since I had been to a party.   I was running late because I was trying to finish a new play I was reading.  I was close to the end and wanted to finish it.  I was glad to had been invited, but still I was nervous about attending.  I some times get nervous around new people. I arrived about 30 min late.  I was also going for a new, younger look.  I styled my hair different.  I wore a new shirt; I kept hoping it looked like the display in the store.  I found the house fairly easily. I had gotten good directions from my friend.  He was already texting me thinking I might be lost.  The neighbor hood was a few steps up from my neighborhood in Irving.  I parked my car along the street.  She looked out of place among the new SUV’s and luxury cars.  The two guys having the party were obviously well off. The house was very nice.  I took deep breath as I entered.  I kept thinking,” What am I doing, you’re not going to fit in here” I quickly found my friend, Brian.  He gave the quick guided tour and a beer.  Brian is friends with the party hosts.  I have only known them as acquaintances.  I started to notice a few more familiar faces.  I was starting to relax a bit.  I even tried to break the ice by making jokes around the buffet table. You never know what your hosts are serving you.  The guys laughed when I picked up a pop corn chicken bite and asked “what’s this, hog nuts?” in a high pitched girls voice. The room roared with laughter.  I was using humor to fit in.  It worked.  It is very much the way you have to win the crowd over, when you MC a drag show.  Over all the party was good. I stayed for a bit and mingled. Then it was time to say my “thank yous”. The hosts both tuned out to be very nice guys.  I made my way to the car.  It was nice to be in a different circle of friends.  I was home by midnight. 

A few new friends

Mattie (center) and some new friends at the show

Thursday night was the MC of a show in Fort Worth.  I enjoy being the MC, but do not always have the opportunity to do it.  I was having a long week at work and I knew it was going to be tough doing a show in during the week.  But as usual, I just do it.  Then I suffer the next day at work.  I had also removed some friends from my face book.  That is a long story. The short version is....I don’t need negative people.  But that night at the show, I made new ones!  There was a group of “virgins” at one of the tables. That’s what we call some one who has never been to a drag show.   Naturally I focused on them. They were new, and I wanted to make them feel welcome. It also makes them feel good to interact with the show. Plus there were two hot men in the group.  They were the husbands of two of the ladies in the group.  Straight guys are so funny.  They stare at you, but are not sure if it’s ok to like what they see.  I made them nervous.  I wore one of my low cut dress and I cranked up the cleavage.  My bosoms were too much for the men to understand. It is amazing what a strip of duct tape can do.   It was funny to flirt and laugh, then freak the out by reminding them I was a dude.   The wives just laugh along.  They always look at you with amazement.  They like the glamour.  That was cool.  It was a good show and a fun night. 

An awsome weekend.

Our small town has probably 20 churches. The town I refer to is the small town I grew up in, not the big city I live in now.  They all worshipped just down the road from each other and tried hard to enjoy harmony.   One thing that brought the different religions together was a spirit of friendship and charity.  When I was a kid, many of the local organizations and churches would help poor families to enjoy a bright and happy Christmas.  Some churches helped with gifts, some helped provide groceries and others would help pay winter heating bills as part of their expression of love during the holiday season. They were Santa to many kids, including us. I was five years old and I really thought Santa Clause existed.    I was too young to under stand that Santa did not bring the surprise gifts that magically appeared on Christmas morning. They had bee brought by  the local Churches. Yes, we were among the many families that the charities helped each year.  We were blessed to receive toys and clothes.  And often times would find groceries boxed neatly on our front porch.  

This past week end I traveled out of town for a show.  One of the local bars in Gun Barrel City was raising money for their local Toys for Tots.  Drag queens have long been asked to help use our shows to raise funds.   I feel there is nothing wrong with using my talents to help other people.  Plus the people there are always friendly at Garlow’s.  The drag show was a good one. All the entertainers dusted off the Christmas music CDs .I enjoyed working with some of my best drag friends in the show. Plus I met a few new faces.   

I did one upbeat Christmas song. It is from my favorite Christmas Album by Mariah Carey titled ‘Christmas-Please come home’.   I wore my red velvet gown and added white gloves and white faux fur stole.  It was a glamorous look.  I knew toward the end of the show, the crowd maybe ready for something non-Christmas.  I wore my favorite lime green sequin fringe jumps suit for my last number and danced the house down while lip syncing to a Jennifer Lopez dance mix. It was a huge hit. The crowd always likes to see a big girl shake her stuff.   I had a great time socializing between sets too.  I especially liked chatting with a new girl from Longview TX.  She is so me 15 years ago.  Her name was “Gemini Fyre”  (Fire) .  I swear they kept announcing her as Gemini  Fry.....I nick named her Julianne Fries.  She quickly became one of us girls.  She is a big girl who has so much potential.  We had raised 1700 dollars for charity! By the end of the night I was ready for a good sleep at the hotel.  I think I went to bed about 3am.

The next morning was rough. My phone beeped with an incoming text message.  I checked it.  It was “Sable”.  She is one of the main people who had coordinated the shows on behalf of the bar. She had said the night before that she wanted me to help go buy toys with the money we raised.  I was a few cocktails into the night and said, ”yeah sure”.  Damn. I was regretting saying yes to her.  It was too early and I was so tired. I got dressed in jeans and a zip up sweat jacket.  I was yawning the whole time.  I didn’t realize she meant we would go first thing in the morning.   Plus I had no idea what toys kids might want.  

A small group of us met at the front of Walmart in Gun Barrel City. We each had an empty basket.   We were soon joined by more friends.  Our goal was to invade the toy department and spend the 1700 dollar that we had raised on toys for the kids.  We teamed up in twos.  Each duo was told how much to budget and what age group to buy for.  I and my good friend “Natasha P.” made a great team. (She was still half asleep and had eyeliner from the show. ) She would pick out the toys and I would approve.  Then I would add up cost our selections as we went.   Two of our favorite picks, were a pair of Cabbage patch Dolls in matching outfits!  We kept referring to them as our Mattie and Natasha dolls.  Each group had baskets over flowing with toys! It was great fun, shopping for toys.  We laughed and giggled and squealed like a bunch of girls. Natasha and I tried to buy equal amounts of girl and boy toys.  Even though, picking the girl toys was more fun.  It was the most fun I had ever had shopping.  I felt bad for the cashier.  He was an old man who just kept scanning and scanning until all of the carts were totaled.  Sable paid the man in cash and we happily pushed the carts out the door to load into a waiting truck.   We looked like a group of mental patients with money, but we had a blast.   We let the so-called real guys in our group transport the toys to the bar.  From there they would be sent to be distributed by the Toys for Tots local organization.

 I was so glad I was able to help.  It was awesome to know I have many great friends and we all came together to help fill a need at Christmas time.  Once I was a poor kid, and now it feels good to give back.  I smile when I think about the joy that the kids will have on Christmas.  Especially who ever receives the Mattie and Natasha Cabbage patch Dolls!

Mattie and Natasha Cabbage Patch Kids



Jerry Francis, Natahsa P, Brian Paris, Sable Alexander, Josh Joblin, Mattie Madison, Gemini
and knealing in front Brittney Brooks. Photo By Linze Serell



S S S .....sorry so short.

Well today is a busy Friday at work.  I have a million other things I would rather be doing today.  My mind is a little scattered.  I have just one more hour.  I had he opportunity to work over time tomorrow, but I declined.   I think I will go out for a quick drink at our local boy bar.  Maybe I will run into a few friends.  I also have a show out of town tomorrow.  I will be gone over night.  I would love to make a few new out fits if I have time.  I have sold so many of my own costumes it’s time to build up the wardrobe again.  I am currently in love with red.  So maybe I will make a red dress with long tier of ruffles down the side.  I saw one in a store in a size 2....so I’m going to use my powers of multiplication to turn one out in a size 20. It was a really cool concept.  I wish I had taken a picture of it. I guess like with most things in my life....I will figure it out as I go along. 

Thanks for reading, I hope you are well.  *wink* yes, I’m talking to you! 

I want a comal

One of the things I am going to buy myself is a comal.  A comal is a smooth, flat griddle typically used in Mexico to cook tortillas, toast spices, sear meat, and generally prepare food. Comals are similar to the American griddle. My Mama had one on the corner of the stove at all times. Comals for home use are generally round and made from heavy cast iron, and sized to fit over either one burner on the stovetop. They can also cover two burner front to back (elongated oval). In many Indigenous and Hispanic cultures, the comal is handed down from grandmother to mother to daughter, the idea being that a comal tempered over many years of usage will heat faster, and cook cleaner. I do not know what happened to the one my mom had.  I assume one of my sisters took it.  I wish now I had it. 

I have been teaching my self to make flour tortillas. The flour tortilla is probably best known as the tortilla used to make burritos, taco or eaten as bread with a meal.  It first started out as a craving.  I wanted some fresh ones. My mom made them for years; I remember watching her make them. I also remember eating them right off the comal with butter or cheese.  My mom would scold me for eating too many before dinner.  “We won’t have enough, if you keep eating them”

I had a basic idea of what was going to happen. But I did not know the exact recipe measurements that she used.  She always just made them by heart.  She used flour, salt, lard, baking powder and hot water.  That was all I knew. You mix all the dry ingredients and them add in the hot water.  It would form dough as you mixed it.  My mom would mix with her hands and then let it rest on the bowl.  I found a recipe and gave it my best shot.   It was not pretty at first.  I had flour every where. I took the large ball of dough and made ‘egg size’ balls by pinching off and rolling the smaller balls in my hands.  I rolled them out with a rolling pin and used a skillet to cook them.  I did not have a comal.  They were too doughy and “fat”.  Anyone who has ever tried to make them will understand my use of the word “fat” in reference to tortilla.  The tortillas ideally are round flat breads. Mine were too think and undercooked. It was like eating warm dough. It was not a good first attempt.   Also I was not very good at rolling them our round. The each looked like the shape of the state of Texas.  They were edible, but not great. 

I have continued to make them in batches.  Each batch seems to be improving.  Now they resemble the shape of cactus. These are the flat oblong kinds that grow wild in Texas.  I think they will continue to improve and now I am ready to put the skillet away and buy me a comal. One day I hope they turn out as good as I remember my mom’s tortillas.   

Happy Birthday Cousin

Today is my Cousin Johnny’s Birthday!  He is two years older than I. It is odd to see him looking older. He now has gray hair and older features.  But his friendly smile has not changed.   I remember him as a teenager.  We lived in different towns.  Our family would go for visits to my Aunt Amanda house.  I some times would hang out with my mom and aunts and listen to them talk. I did not speak Spanish. But sometimes I could figure out what they were talking about, by listening for the few words I knew in Spanish and the inflections in their voices. They were very expressive. I think they were gossiping.  Or other times I would watch the boys play football in the yard. 

My Brother and Johnny were the same age.  We would all play outside together.  It was more like they played, I watched.  I was always too slow and weak to play well, so I just sat and watched. My brother always made fun of him. My brother would tease Johnny about not being fast enough or make fun of his stance in foot ball.  (I think my brother was a bully.)  Mostly because my brother was a jerk…I mean jock.  My brother would try to compete with Johnny, only to prove himself more macho.  After a while, Johnny avoided my brother. Why would anyone want to play with a jerk?   Looking back now, I don’t blame him. 

Johnny and I would see each other at family gathering, but at that time, we were not really close.  I would run in to Johnny after I entered college. I left the small town and moved into the college dorms.   I was away from home and became more curious about my sexuality.  I had heard from friends about the local gay bar and place to go.  So like an innocent fool.  I went.  And who did I run into, yep.  I ran into my cousin Johnny.  He had friends who were gay.  I did not know what to say at first.  I was embarrassed for being out at a gay cruising spot.  I was not there cruising, honest,  I really just wanted friends like me.  Up until this point I had never been with a guy at all.  Johnny talked to me for a while, he inquired about my family.  He introduced me to some people. I think it was his way of telling me, it will be ok.  We became close.  He always had my back. 

I was glad to have Johnny around. He became like a big brother to me. He and I became closer as me and my real brother grew distant.   I remember when my parents found out about me being gay, Johnny made sure I had a place to stay and helped me find a job.  He allowed me to be friends with his friends.  Johnny also encouraged and supported me as a drag queen.  Some of his friends were queens, so it was a natural fit for me to try it too.  I turned out to be pretty good at it.  He was the first person in my family to ever see me perform in a show.  I think I did Whitney Houston,’ I will always love you’.  It seems like a million years ago.  We and our friends were all so young. 

Johnny and his lover even owned a bar for several years back in Wichita Falls. It was a small place, but it was fun. I still have my rainbow “Club Cloud 9” tshirt. 

Now we live in different cities.  Johnny has had a hard year.  He lost both parents.  I understand his pain.  I am thankful for my cousin Johnny.  He has helped me and supported me.  We are closer than cousins.  And today I want to wish him a great Birthday!  Hey Johnny” I will always love you”

Robbie, Heather, Johnny and me. OKC.

Minimal Christmas

I chose not to put out my tree for Christmas.  Last year I did because my sister was staying with me temporally and it felt good to celebrate together.  I have a tree and tons of decorations just stuffed into the back of the closet.  I think I will donate them.  They are old now anyways.  I’m thinking I will not use them any more. I kept thinking if someone new would come into my life.  I hoped we could put them out and enjoy decorating together.  Another year has gone by and there they will remain; In the back of the closet.  

an odd dream last night

I had a dream that both my hand were swollen.  I was trying to grab and hol don to things in my dream but my hands were of no use.  I got this info off the dream website.   

Swelling

To dream that you are swelling up symbolizes a growing problem or issue. You need to address the situation before it gets out of hand. Consider the object or body part that is swollen for additional significance. Alternatively, the dream may be a pun on something that is going "swell". Or it may be a metaphor of your over-inflated ego. 

Hand

To dream of your hands represent your relationships with those around you and how you connect with the world. Hands serve as a form of communication and can represent authority, hate, protection, justice, etc depending on the gesture. Perhaps you need to lend a helping hand to someone. If someone else is giving you a helping hand, then it implies your need for help. Do not be afraid to ask for assistance or to depend on others from time to time. Moreover, the left hand symbolizes your graciousness and your feminine, receptive qualities, while the right hand symbolizes the masculine and active attributes. The right hand may also be a pun for some decision or something being "right". If you dream that your hands are detached or see disembodied hands, then it indicates that you are not getting your point of view across. You are not being understood. The dream may also symbolize feelings of loneliness.

To dream that you hands are injured denote an attack on your ego.

To dream that your hands are clasped or closed signify unity, completeness, acceptance or agreement.  On a more negative note, it may suggest that you are close-minded, ungiving or unwilling to help.

To dream that you have unusually large hands denote success in achieving your goals. 

Friday with new Friends

I went out Friday night, even though I had to be at work the next morning.  I had been working 10 hours days all last week, and I was ready for a break.  Brianna Allen called me back and we decided to invite her friend “Selena” to join us out. The more the merrier.  Selena is also a local drag queen in Dallas.  We all know a lot of the same people. My goal was to enjoy a non-drag night out at the bars.  Plus it would give us the opportunity to get to know each other better.   We had made plans to meet at Selena place. It was just near the gay strip and we would venture over to the clubs together. But in my usual fashion, I was running late.  I always dress according to how I feel.  Before my shower, I was feeling like a Polo shirt and jeans, but changed my mind only after I had the whole outfit on.  I wanted to look nice.  So I changed my clothes but had to run the iron over my button down dress shirt.  This new look seemed to fit my mood better.   These guys had never seen me out of drag.  We had only met at shows.  They did not really know what I look like because I don’t ever change after shows like some entertainers do.    I feel if I came in drag, I go home in drag. My neighbors are confused enough, to say the least. 

I was about 15 min late.  I was in the car and the phone rang. Damn. It was Brianna. We decided to meet at the bar instead.  I headed directly to the bar. That suited me better.  I would be able to leave if it got too late. After all, I had to be at work at 6am. 

The boys were already inside.  I grabbed a beer and found them at the back bar.  I put on my nicest smile and received a hug in return.  So great.  They looked me over.  Then once I spoke;  They knew it was really me.  These guys were so funny. It turns out they thought I was Italian, but no. I’m just Mexican.  I guess in drag I have a certain look.  Plus my olive skin makes me look Italian to them I guess.  (I have some times been told I look Native American.)  They did say that they admire my makeup skills. 

They had been friends for several years and like most good friends, knew all the old dirt on each other.  It was fun to hear the stories about how they met, their past experiences in drag and of course funny bar stories. Brianna loves to talk.  She is a natural story teller.  It reminded me of the time I had back home with my old friends.  There is nothing like old “war stories” from past drag shows.  It turns out, my new friend “Brianna” used to do drag back in the 90’s. That was years before I came out or had ever been to a Dallas.  She is now in her mid 40’s and told me great stories of how she came from a small town and her first time in drag. And now she was coming back out again in drag to help raise money for local gay charities.  Plus she is a big flirt and loves the attention.  I remember seeing “Selena” in Drag before. She loves short dresses and bare legs and more than once has flashed her business to the audience during the shows.   She is a skinny queen and I guess she can get away with it.  Me? I need the dance tights to make my legs look firm and not jiggle. Also it helps to hide my body padding.  Padding is something these girls don’t seem to be concerned with.  To them, it’s like wearing nails….its optional.  For me it is a necessity.  I always want to be complete.  Lashes, Nails and padding are a total must.  I always want to look my best.   

“Selena” and I also found out that we share the same last name as guys.  It was too funny. I thought she was joking.   I don’t think we are related, if I had a cousin as funny as her, I’m sure I would have known it.  I really enjoyed laughing with these guys.  I also got invited to do a show in Jan that Brianna is putting together.  So that will be fun.  I usually feel out of place if I’m in a bar with out being dressed in drag.  For the first time in years, the thought never crossed my mind that night.  I will never forget something Brianna said “the one who dies with the most friends, wins” …..I think have some catching up to do.  They are a great couple of guys.  I need more fun people in my life.

What to do tonight?

I have been thinking about maybe going out this weekend. But nothing wild.  Maybe I will go have a drinks with a new queen I met. She is super sweet. Her name is Brianna Allen.  Anyone who keeps up with my life knows that there are always new gilrs to meet at the bars.  This girl is nice, she was a contestant in a pageant  I judged back on October.  She did not win, but I thought she had a great deal of potential. And even better she has the true genuine personality to be successful.She recently read my blog about my mugging in Dallas.  She was very nice to voice her concerns for my safety.  I am truly blessed to have people who care about me. I am hoping we can just meet up at one of local bars and hang out. Some where off beat and away for the drama of the big clubs.  Some times you want to go where no body knews your Drag name.   I have had a long week at work and it would be good to just kick back and hang with my new gal pal.  I cant stay out too late, I have to work a half day tomorow at my day job. It is not easy balancing both lives.

I spent Thanksgiving with my family.  It was good. I drove up I35 to Oklahoma City for the day. I thought maybe it would be crazy traffic, but it was fair.  I left at 6:30 am with my turkey hot and ready to travel.   I had packed an over night bag incase I decided to stay over night. Just the essentials: shirt, jeans, underwear and of course my favorite Tina Turner CD.  I’m sure I was a spectacle driving and lip-synching and passing cars full of families.  It was very foggy when I reached the Arbuckle Mountains. The Arbuckle Mountains are an ancient mountain range in south-central Oklahoma. The granite rocks of the Arbuckles date back to the Proterozoic Era some 1.4 billion years ago which were overlain by sediments during the Paleozoic Era. The range reaches a height of 1,412 feet above sea level.  It’s not the Rockies, but compared to the plains of north Texas….they are Mountains.

Turner Falls OK

 I love that area during the summer.  I have memories of going to Turner Falls and swimming as a kid. Turner Falls is in the heart of the Arbuckle area.  There is a river and water fall and swimming area below the falls.   I remember it was the first time I ever saw a guy with out a shirt and thought, wow he is hot.  I was probably about 10. 

I have been to Oklahoma City before and I always call or text when I pass certain landmarks, so my sister can judge how far away I am.  Once you get into Norman, you are home free and can usually be at my sister door in about 20 more minutes.   I made it about 9:30.  My sister had prepared some pancakes and bacon for breakfast.  It was great just to sit and talk.  I miss that.  Her kids and I watched the parade and laughed.  They seemed to miss me and I know I missed them.  It had been about four months since I had seen them.  The best moment was when my youngest niece, 11, said to me. “Uncle Mossie, did you bring us some make-up?  I told my mama to tell you.”  I smiled and laughed.  They have grown up knowing that I was some sort of singer.  That is how they see it.  They know I “sing” at the club.  They love playing with my costumes and makeup when ever they would come and visit me at my place.  I have a whole drag room for them to indulge their time.  It was nice to see my nieces.  They are so loving and sweet.  And so much fun to laugh and joke with.   My sister, Anita, cooked some great food.  I was so glad we could all be together.  To be honest, I have eleven nieces and nephews, but the only ones who call ME family, are my three nieces in Oklahoma.  It is hard for me to say that.  But it is the sad truth.  It is sad how the years of drama have cut my family in half.  We were once all so close.  I cherish the family I do have and tried not to worry about the past.  Not on Thanksgiving anyway.

We all ate.  My sister even made a pumpkin pie, from scratch….yes she scratched the frozen box and popped it in the oven to cook.  Just like Mom used to make.  She hates when I say that.  No matter, the pie was great.   I even enjoyed a quick nap on the couch, until my neck started to hurt.  I like the fact that I feel at home at my sister house.  Or maybe it was the turkey and big meal that made be feel sleepy.  I felt at peace either way.

I had thought I may stay the night.  The clothes in the car were for ‘just in case’.  I phoned a few of my old friends.  I was hoping we might meet for drinks.  I have known these guys for about ten years. They have all asked me at some point in the past when I was going to move back to OKC.  I can clearly say today.  That is not going to happen.  It is not my home, just someplace I used to live.  After calling a few old friends, it seemed they were all too busy.  It really hurt my feelings. They knew I was coming.  Maybe it’s time to let those old friends go. I guess they mean more to me than I do to them, anymore.  I did my best to enjoy my family but I did not stay.  I drove back.  The visit was a short but good one.  I sang all the way home and called my sister so that she would know I was home safe. 

I unloaded the car and walked the dogs.  I reflected on my day trip and how fun it was.  I got a text.  I had forgotten my friend from Houston was in town.  I was thinking I was going to wind down, but he was inviting me to meet him for drinks.   I can’t resist the invitation. It had been over six months since he had been in town.  Vince and I have been friends for the last four years.  We meet one night in Fort Worth, when he proceeded to tell me how amazing he thought I was in a previous show.   Needless to say I love his honesty.   He has a fun personality and we became close.  He was a dancer and had done drag before.  We had a lot in common.  Now he is a manager for an exclusive restaurant in Houston.  There were not very many people at the club on Thanksgiving night.  It was more about seeing my old friend.  We laughed until it hurt.  I enjoyed it. 

I went to the movies on Friday night.  My good friend Andy aka “Kandace” asked me to go.  Her husband was gone out of town still visiting family.  She wanted to go do something.  We caught dinner at a small Italian place and then saw the Immortals in 3D.  It was worth the price of admission.  I have not been a theatre in months. 

Saturday I had a show. It was early.  One of the local charity organizations needed entertainers.  It was a Christmas theme show.  So I pulled out two of my red dresses and my good white fur and hit the club. I was all dolled up in drag.  I few quick easy numbers and I was ready to party.  My other  friend was also in the show. “Natasha” and her partner Paul are always fun.  It was good to cut loose and have fun.  We danced and over indulged a bit on refreshing adult beverages.  Luckily I made it home safe. I remember taking off my drag and makeup and then….well that’s about it.  I woke up the next morning with a splitting head ache. Yes, I caught my self a hangover.  I was miserable all day, but I hear I was the life of the party the night before.   I think I am too old to be a party girl again.  I cut all that stuff when I was about 25.  The party girl is best left in the past. 

On Sunday, I slept in and cleaned house.

Oaklawn robbery.

I have been feeling better. I was in a funk for the last few weeks. Too much work, not enough fun.  In fact my job had kept us super busy. I was working hard and pulling a many hours as possible.  The availability of over time has been good for me.  I have managed to pay off some bills and only have one more car payment due in December.  Then this car is mine, free and clear. (pat myself on the back)   My goal is to set myself up to start the New Year on the right foot.  There have been set backs and miss steps this year, but over all, I can say I made it.  I was so proud of myself this past week; I had given myself permission to go out.  My friend was hosting a show at a small bar in Dallas gay neighborhood, Oaklawn.  My plan was to stop in for a drink and catch the show.  Then I would venture across the street to the Roundup. The Roundup is a great place to watch the cowboys dance.  Lord knows, it would be a well deserved diversion from my recent work obligations.  So I ironed my shirt. The one it took me 15 minutes to select. And prepared for a night out.  I only had to make one quick stop to get gas and cash.  I had finally gotten paid from my last drag gig and I received  a $100 bill as part of my payment.  I was holding that to use toward my car payment the following morning. So I withdrew a couple of twenties from the ATM as my spending money for the night. I tucked 20 in my wallet with the 100 I already had. The other 20 in shoved in my left front pocket.  I was on my way.  I drove around looking for a parking space. The Drama Room has its own parking lot behind the bar but I was not in the mood to pay 10 bucks just to park. I might have paid if I had been in drag, but I was just me. I did not have to haul any luggage or wigs.  It was only a few blocks to park on the street and then walk up to the main strip. I found a space. Yes.  I quickly grabbed my phone and locked the car.  It was dark but I could see the lights from the clubs ahead.    

I heard a deep male voice behind me and kept walking.  I felt someone shove me from behind almost knocking me down.  What the fuck?  Before I knew what was happening he had his arms around me and demanded money.  “what the fuck is your problem?”  He repeated again, “give me your money”  Oh shit, I thought. I’m being robbed. I remember I was cussing him. I think I used the N-word.  How could he do this to someone?  I was mad.  I was not really scared, but felt confused and angry.  I tried to reached for my wallet and he snatched it from me and quickly opened it.  He pulled out my cash and threw the wallet on the ground.  I felt my feet slowly stepping backwards.  Holy shit was this real? It happened so quickly. That piece of shit just took off down the block with my money. He disappeared into the dark.   I looked around, but saw no one.  I picked up my wallet and looked in it.  Yes, all gone. I was hopping this was a bad dream. But it was real.  My phone? Where was my phone?  I called 911.  I was so frustrated.  I think, I was rambling.  I was so nervous.  I needed help.  The police were on their way.  It seemed to take forever.  I saw a few guys in the distance, but they were not headed my way. Too far to talk to them.  Then one guy, an obvious club patron passed me as I waited by the fence.  “Be careful” I said in a friendly way.  “I just got robbed down that way.”  “No shit?” he said in disbelief.  I quickly told him what happened. He asked if I was ok.  I was. I was just shaken and concerned about how long the cops were taking to get there.  He tried to talk to me, but I don’t really remember what about.  “Here comes your cops.” he said as he continued walking down the side walk.  It was the cops pulling up.  They asked my name and took a report.  I was glad to have some feeling of relief. I felt that at least they would be looking for this guy, even if they don’t catch him.  I began to breathe a little easier.  I gave them his description :  Black male, 6-3, white shirt, jeans, red and blue baseball cap.  I told them all I could remember.  I thanked them for showing up.  They gave me a report number and said they would drive around and see if any in the area might be the person. They advised me to go home.  No problem there.  I knew that was where I would go.  I was half way home, before I called my sister in OKC.  At first, I was not sure if I should. It was 1 am and she would be asleep.  But I did.  We talked as I drove.  I told her what happened.  It had been one crazy night.  I had learned to never park in that neighborhood again.  I had taken it for granted that I would be ok.  It was not worth it to save a few bucks on parking.  Also it is better to have other friends with me.  It sounds simple now, but it was a hard lesson, I will not soon forget. I was lucky, it could have been crazy worse.  I have had many friends calling, once they heard the news.  I appreciate their concerns.  I also feel it is important to warn my friends.  Many of them also frequent that neighbor hood at night.  I don’t anything to happen to them.

Pecan Pie

I made my first pecan pie. I am so proud of myself.  I love to make things, but do not consider my self a real cook.  I am more of a home cook, who enjoys a challenge. Plus I love old cook books. I get my best “ I wonder how you make that” ideas from the old books. 

My favorite book is from 1954, Better Homes and Gardens cook book. I found it at a used book sale. I felt like I had found money.   I love anything with nostalgic value.  Plus in 1954, butter and fats were a food group.   It still had the plastic inserts inside.  The back was not broken and in amazing shape. I inherited several well used cook books about 5 years ago.  I also have some family recipes that had been used for years.  One included was pecan pie. 

I remember GW used to make the best pecan pies, and unfortunately I have not had one since he passed five years ago. I think it was more of an emotional block.  So this year I worked up the courage to see if I could do it.  (Again this is part of my letting go, moving on process in life.)  Well I made the best damn pie ever!  I have learned to celebrate old memories in a special way;  By baking myself a pie.  And the best part was, I smiled the whole time I ate it. It really was not hard and I can’t wait to make another. 

for sale.

Here is a list of what I have to sell.  Also I have tons of fabrics on hand if you want some thing custom. Being a professional entertainer, I pick out fabrics that I know will appeal to other drag queens.  If I dont have colors you want I can try to get them through one of my fabric vendors. Items will be sold on first come first serve basis. All sales final.  mattiemadison1234@msn.com or via face book mattiemadison.  (size 18-22 stretch)

Red Penne Velvet. True red Side split on left leg. Gathered at hip.  Faux bat wing sleeves. Three large square stones at the split.   $100.00

Black and red stretch knit dress:  Bell sleeves, train and black sparkle at waist. Scoop neck line. $80.00

 Peach stretch knit with peach stretch lace across bust and fore arms. Embellished with stones and sequins.  Round neck line straight sleeves, full skirt to the floor. $100.00



  



Lime Green and light green stretch knit dress. Asymmetrical  cut neck line, embellished with trims, stones and sequins.  Ruffled  open shoulder and ruffled swag over right leg. Side split. Straight sleeves with ruffle cuffs are wrist.  $80.00



Light Blue floral sequin dot stretch lace dress.  Floral pattern in blues, white band at knees and flared mermaid bottom in light blue.  Half sleeves with half round drapes over both shoulders. Round neck line, and sequin trim at neck and knees.  $100.00

 

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Red Velvet stretch dress with satin skirt, mermaid style flare skirt to the floor. Unembellished.  Straight sleeves, V-neck line. $80.00







Red stretch  Christmas cocktail dress, with double layers of white fringe on bottom.  Half zip back with lace up eyelets in back.  Embellished with sequins, stones and mirrors around neck line.  $75.00