I am proud of myself







Jade Books Miss Texas State & Mattie Madison
Miss Texas State at Large 2012





presentation costume: theme futuristic fashion



It is time for the big news. I won the pageant.  I am the new Miss Texas State at Large 2012.  There were 11 contestants. I felt very prepared going into the pageant. I set goals and pushed until each thing was complete.  I had been involved with this system for the last four years as an MC and entertainer. I had been traveling around the state with the pageant circuit doing shows and getting my face out there as a contender.  It all came down the state level pageant.  This years "crop" of girls were all unique and talented. Especially the group from Longview TX.  They have one bar in Longview, Decisions.  I was there for the first time about 12 years ago.  The girls from this one –bar town did not play. They had dancers and stunning gowns.  Also there were several of us from the DFW area.  My interview on Saturday was great. I felt relaxed and comfortable in my new suit and I was also confident in myself. As you know, it had been a long road to get back to my happy place.  I have been working hard on making my self a better person inside and out. 





I was wearing these futuristic glasses,
this is me taking them off.

I left interview and returned home to change and pack for the pageant that evening. We were on limited time because the pageant started at 7 pm.  I was driving back and forth all weekend. I live in Irving and the pageant was near downtown Fort Worth. It was about a thirty minute drive. The other girl’s hotel was two blocks from the bar.  I got home and started steaming my new dress. The layers of satin and organza seemed to gather a multitude of wrinkles over night.  I was determined to look my best.  I was excited about wearing it. I had stoned, and beaded the bodice by hand and I had new shoes ready to go. Then tragedy set in. My NEW dress had a big oil stain on the bodice. It was the size of my hand. I freaked. The dress was laid on top of some dirty make up towels, on top of the washer. I guess I was not looking when I put it there.  It was too late. The damage was done. I tried to clean it by hand. (I think I will have to send it out to be professionally cleaned.)  I called my friend Jamie and just started crying. She (he) calmed me down and told me to wear my orange gown from last year. I was so upset I wanted to quit. I had just spent time and money adding rhinestones to that damn dress. I pulled the orange one out from underneath my bed. It had been there for months.  I made sure I had shoes and jewelry. I love that dress but was not prepared to wear it again but I had no other choice. I pulled my scattered mind together and breathed.  Why today? Damn my luck. I just kept hearing those words "model like the only thing missing is the crown".  I kept that in mind when I got to the pageant.  I gave them my best "Rachel Wells" elegant walk and glamorous smile. I wanted to prove my self to be a true beauty queen during the gown competition.  I was very proud of myself for not giving up. I scored high in gown.  Unfortunately I did not win gown category, but that is ok, because I still won everything else! I won onstage Q&A.  They loved my creative presentation. I took home a cash prize for that category. I also found out during the award ceremony that I won interview too. I was strong all across the board.

Talent was my shining moment. The judges were impressed. I had great comments on the sheet.  I had one judge say I was "captivating” as I walked out and he could not take his eyes off of me. (Again that was my Rachel walk... mixed with some Mattie flare)  They loved my theme.  The mix of music sounded great. I showed elegance and beauty and the big finish was high energy and vigor. My costume change and transition was smooth. I could hear the crowd roar applause as I spun out of the mock gown skirt to reveal my dance costume underneath.  I finished the number with only one button fastened on the coat but nobody noticed. I had practiced it with out nails, not with them!  I only managed to get one button done in time.  I danced my ass off....Mattie Madison the Texas Tornado.  My score sheets were off the charts in talent. They also loved my props: especially when the clock lit up.  I had other girls wanting to rent them for other pageants coming up later this year. I may go into the prop building business. I'm joking. I have enough “jobs” as it is.  I'm just glad the event was a success. It was a double crowing so now I and my friend from Longview Texas, Jade Brooks will reign as Miss Texas State and Miss Texas State at Large 2012. We will travel together and promote ourselves and the system.  We are making our first appearance on Wed, at another pageant that is being produced in Dallas. We are going to wear our crowns and full regalia.

We had our first meeting with the pageant promoters and board of directors on Monday morning.  It took a lot to get my sleepy head out of bed. I was so exhausted, that I slept in my makeup.  That was an ugly scene the next morning.  But I got up and went, after a quick shower.  We also received our prize money at the meeting, so it was important that I go.  The meeting was good, they thanked the out going title holders and welcomed us onboard.  I had spent so much time on the outside of the pageant circle, and now I finally felt like I belonged some where. It was a good feeling. No longer was I just an entertainer at the pageant, I was some one who had worked hard and won it fair and square. I felt good knowing I have friends and family who love me. I have a community that supports and respects me and now I have a good pageant system that stands behind me.  I worked my ass off for this position.  I was stronger than I thought.  I will be thanking alot of people for helping me. It took a village.

In fact I was in such a good mood, I cooked dinner for my sister. Wendy was my dresser for the pageant and is my special intern for life.  I can see how much she adores me and looks up to me.  I could not do it with out her. I made her enchiladas, refried beans, and Spanish rice.  Man, that was good food.  I amaze myself sometimes.